9 Harry Potter fan theories that will blow your mind

http://www.digitalspy.com/movies/harry-potter/feature/a800560/harry-potter-fan-theories-that-will-blow-your-mind/

Unfortunately, I have no words for this blog post, despite the number of times I HAD to agree with the main points.

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Why am I rewriting “Away in England”? – Everything wrong with Harry Potter – Penana

https://www.penana.com/story/17889/why-am-i-rewriting-quot-away-in-england-quot/issue/1

In the following article, you may be wondering why I chose to rehash an old story instead of making up a new story. Maybe it’s because I really miss the first Harry Potter fanfiction art wrote and I wanted to rewrite it all over again with a new cast of characters.

Or maybe it’s because I want to call out the Harry Potter books for the crap that they are.

Who knows?

Dumb things in Harry Potter everyone just ignored

via Dumb things in Harry Potter everyone just ignored

It’s not mistake that most people (except for me) think Harry Potter is
the best thing since sliced bread. Don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure
if that opinion sticks anymore, as I read this article and the following
things jumped out at me.

Here we go…

1. Snakes can’t
read. I won’t believe that for a second. It doesn’t matter if it’s
fantasy; I just like some realism in the fantasy story.

2. I’m sure Dumbledore didn’t really care about Harry at all, yet he wanted Harry to be his champion. That dude really sucks!

3.
I bet that deep down inside, Petunia really DOES care about Harry, and
the fact that he’s going to Hogwarts is really touching a nerve with
her.

4. Did Hermione’s parents hire a tutor from the wizarding world? 

5. Wizarding People Magazine??? Supermarket tabloids???

6. Wizards avoid muggles like the plague, yet they try to be like muggles? Give me a break!

7. I think it’s between you and the Sorting Hat. No one else can intervene.

8. Why are you wizards scared of cats? Cats rule!

9. The plot called for it. Nothing else.

10. One word…plot.

11. As a Christian, I believe that’s an insult to Jesus Christ.

12. For the plot? OK, I stopped caring.

13. OMG!!! Or, I think the story could have been better if this happened.

OK, so I’m a cynic. But I think something’s wrong with a story if it can get this much questioning.

Never Thought We Would See This Happen…

Well, it’s happening today.

If you remember the bad fanfiction that was the Harry Potter epilogue, it has been 19 years since the Voldemort Wars ended.

Meaning, it’s officially 19 years later; on that day, a young boy was sent to Hogwarts by his parents, and reading that part in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows was AWKWARD for everyone!

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

In fact, I must say that today is the day when we finally see the dreaded Harry Potter epilogue come to life. As in, Harry’s poorly-named second son is on his way to Hogwarts.

I don’t believe it.

Harry Potter, I Sentence You to Die! – a Satire

Harry Potter, I sentence you to DIE!

Not only do your books and movies suck, but also there’s a fan fiction out there that exposed you for what you truly are. A fake. A phony. You’re the worst thing since creamed corn, and I would rather eat creamed corn than deal with you!

I can’t stand you. You’re freaking everywhere! I want you to go away and cease to exist! Let someone else take over the story because you’re not worth having one!

Please, just go away!

You’re saying you think I’m crazy? You say I would be happier if I would just sit down, shut up, and read your books? That is bullshit! I will NOT sit down, shut up, and read your books, not when there are better books out there for me to read!

So, for the last time, Harry Potter, go away!

The Hayley Chame Essay

The following essay concerns the part of The Story That Made No Sense, where Hayley Chame is concerned.

I want to protest. Seriously, I want to protest. Hayley Chame is nothing more than the secret love child of Lily Evans and Severus Snape, and that character is played by one Harry Potter, which makes me very angry. I don’t like Harry, and I especially hate him now that he’s chosen to play the part of a boy who is pushed into the background of a (much better) hero and deemed only to be the short-lived gay love interest of said hero.

Nobody needs those.

Also, Hayley’s family has all the worst aspects that a family can find, yet why nobody called social services on them is upsetting. I also don’t understand for the life of me why Matthew Larson would want to live in a family that’s so bad, it makes his evil biological relatives look good. Even he should know to get away from the chames, as they’re a terrible influence.

Come on, people! Even Sadie Schroeder is better than these stupid idiotic losers, and she’s a whiny Mary-sue brat as it is!”

Anyway, thank you for reading this plodding junk known as an essay and remember, kids, that when you create a character, make sure you follow the rules or else you’ll have character that’s so useless that you’ll want to kill them off before they meet the main hero.

A Controversial Opinion

I have something important to say about the Harry Potter world, and believe me, it’s not pretty.

For many years, I have tried to ignore Harry Potter and go about my daily life, but it was all but impossible to do so. People I knew begged, coerced, and even threatened me to read the Harry Potter books or something bad would happen to me.

Well, I’m here to tell you: I have never read the Harry Potter books and guess what? I’m still alive!

Because I never read Harry Potter, I’m glad I was never stressed out over the books. I never planned my life around the movies and I never participated in the online forums. Instead, I found other books to read that aren’t Harry Potter, and I’m happier for it.

So, can you survive without Harry Potter? You lived BEFORE Harry Potter, and you can live without him today.

That is all.