Never Thought We Would See This Happen…

Well, it’s happening today.

If you remember the bad fanfiction that was the Harry Potter epilogue, it has been 19 years since the Voldemort Wars ended.

Meaning, it’s officially 19 years later; on that day, a young boy was sent to Hogwarts by his parents, and reading that part in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows was AWKWARD for everyone!

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

In fact, I must say that today is the day when we finally see the dreaded Harry Potter epilogue come to life. As in, Harry’s poorly-named second son is on his way to Hogwarts.

I don’t believe it.


Harry Potter References in “Janette Lennox”

The Hall at Christ Church in Oxford, England.

The Hall at Christ Church in Oxford, England. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my 2013 NaNoWriMo story Janette Lennox, we have to wonder how many Harry Potter references are in this story. I know that there’s quite a few references, such as:

  • Janette being left at the church=Harry being left at the Dursleys
  • Janette being bullied by Tyson=Harry being bullied by Dudley
  • Janette being friends with Malinda and Silas=Harry being friends with Ron and Hermione
  • Janette leaving Bethsaida Chapel to attend Gamaris Academy of Alchemy & Magic=Harry leaving the Dursleys’ home to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

There are several profound differences between Harry Potter and Janette Lennox; the main difference is that Janette is going through a mild form of PTSD after Tyson beats her for not attending his birthday party. Plus, Janette feels inadequate at times and she avoids the other students, especially those who have parents. As far as we know, Harry doesn’t even suffer the ill effects of being locked away in a closet for ten years, nor does he suffer from depression because he was living with people who did not like him or treat him well.

I could go on describing the differences between Harry and Janette, but that’s not this blog post. I have written Janette to be a darker version of Harry Potter with a few Twilight-like elements thrown in for good measure. There is the “Golden Trio” of Malinda, Silas, and a new boy named Garrett, but none of them are actually good; in fact, they plot to kidnap Janette and rid her of her magic. All of this tension will actually make a better story than Harry Potter ever was.

Now you know.

Link to this story on Smashwords:  (Janette Lennox)

Harry Potter Spoof, Day 6

Group shot of the Monty Python crew in 1969

Group shot of the Monty Python crew in 1969 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now that I have reached chapter 5, I have some new characters to introduce:

  1. Tarcey Pate: the son of Professor Pate, the science teacher. He is known as a bully and is very cruel to Harry.
  2. Junia Brown: another student at Warthogpox High who is a bully. She too is mean to Harry.
  3. Oscar Hernandez: who was created to force diversity into this story.

Chapter 5 contains “cursing“, poorly-worded Monty Python insults, and even Jill acting like a stuck-up brat who sings “don’t rock the boat” like her iPod‘s on replay. If chapter 6 is going to be anything like chapter 5, then I feel sorry for you.

Harry Potter Spoof, Day 4

Harry Moffer epilogue

Harry Moffer epilogue (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

And today’s chapter deals with Harry Moffer meeting the new “family” that he’s staying with for the duration of his term at Warthogpox High School. And to be honest, not one of them gave him a warm welcome.

Also, Harry has to deal with Jill Roseberry, who thinks that he’s nothing more than a fraud. She warns him not to cause any trouble at Warthogpox High. But as we all know, Harry doesn’t look for trouble, as trouble usually finds him. And Harry isn’t a secret hero; in fact, he’s practically a loser who people think is a hero. (See how I love to tear things apart?)

Plus, with my decision to get rid of the “abused Harry Potter cliché, I’m making sure that no abuse happens to our hero. But he will have some terrible hardships, that I promise you. This story isn’t for kids at all.

So there you have it.

Harry Potter Spoof, Day 2

After a ton of writing done, I’m done with Chapter 1 and am moving on to Chapter 2, which is called “An Invitation to Warthogpox High School“. In this part of the story, the normal and boring Harry Moffer gets an invite to attend an élite high school called Warthogpox High School, which is a school for geniuses like him.

And who gives him this exclusive invitation?

His name is Loomius Tafrin (a parody of the character Rubeus Hagrid) and he whisks Harry away from the Dourfeys by claiming that he is needed to leave his hometown  in Branford, Connecticut and he is being sent to Wyvernwing, Pennsylvania to attend Warthogpox High School.

Unlike the original story, Harry is quite comfortable where he is; in fact, he doesn’t want to leave his hometown and go to Wyvernwing. Tafrin, however, drags him away from his relatives with a few threats and tells them not to go looking for Harry. (We know that this order will be broken…eventually!)

Plus, Warthogpox is a parody of the name Hogwarts.

Now you know.

I’ll be back with more!

The Harry Potter spoof begins!

harry moffer 1

harry moffer 1 (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

Today, I now begin the spoof known as Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever!

In this parody, Harry Potter is a known as Harry Moffer, a normal boy who has nothing in common with his “useless” relatives. That is, until he is invited to attend an elite public school called Warthogpox High School. There, he meets Pun Teasley and Hildegarde Lamer and navigates the normal world of high school.

And no, there is no magic in the story. Now you know.

This blog post has been brought to you by: My version of a Harry Potter rip-off (accoriding to HowTo:Write a Harry Potter Ripoff)

P.S.: I’ve been aware that this is the 300th post on this blog.

Richard Griffiths, ‘Harry Potter’s’ Uncle Dursley, Dies at Age 65 | NextMovie

Richard Griffiths

Richard Griffiths (Photo credit: tamara.craiu)

via Richard Griffiths, ‘Harry Potter’s’ Uncle Dursley, Dies at Age 65 | NextMovie.

Well, as we all know, the man in the picture played the part of the uncle that we all loved to hate. (Well, to be fair, if you’re a muggle who has to live with a snot-nosedbrat who cares nothing about you, you’d be pissed off too.)

So that’s that.

R.I.P. Uncle Vernon; we shall miss how you intimidated Harry.

I Have Survived (Cedric Diggory/Edward Cullen parody to the tune of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive)

at first I was upset, I was frightened
I was worried about not having her by my side
and as I spent those many nights thinking about how she did me wrong
and I got pissed, and now I’m getting my revenge…

guess what, I’m back from Forks Washington
and you’re just staring at me with that stupid look upon your face
I should have quit the competition, I should have had you expelled
if I knew that I would die and then you would dare move in on my girl

and now just go, just go away
please get out of my sight, because I don’t like you anymore
you were the one who lured me to my death
you made me take Lord Voldemort‘s curse and die

oh no not I
I have survived
and I know that I don’t need magic to stay alive

I got the rest of my life to live
and I got a new family to love
I have survived, I have survived

well you think that your love story is better than mine
did you forget that once upon a time, she tried to have you killed
and instead of comforting my girl when she needed it the most
you slapped her across her face and you said I was a fool

now they see me, somebody new
not that pretty boy who wanted to be friends with you
and I don’t have the time for your stupid magic tricks
because I’m heading back to the girl who I know really loves me

and now just go, just go away
please get out of my sight, because I don’t like you anymore
you were the one who lured me to my death
you made me take Lord Voldemort’s curse and die

oh no not I
I have survived
and I know that I don’t need magic to stay alive

I got the rest of my life to live
and I got a new family to love
I have survived, I have survived

now I’m gonna go, walk out the door
and I’m not looking back, because I don’t like you anymore
you were the one who lured me to my death
you made me take Lord Voldemort’s curse and die

oh no not I
I have survived
and I know that I don’t need magic to stay alive

I got the rest of my life to live
and I got a new family to love
I have survived, I have survived

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movi...

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movie poster (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

This blog post talks about the most talked-about fan fiction that’s circulating the internet: Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality!

So, what is Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? Well, it’s a fan fiction written by Eliezer Yudkowsky / Less Wrong on FanFiction.Net.

What is this story about, you ask? Here’s the answer:

Suppose that Petunia Evans does NOT marry Vernon Dursley; instead she marries a biochemist named Michael Verres. James and Lily die (just like in every alternative reality) and Harry ends up being adopted by Petunia and Verres. He grows up learning about science and reading science fiction. By the time his Hogwarts letter arrives, Harry is a genius and he sets off attempting to apply the methods of rationality to a world that has never heard of science.

Well, that’s that.

The story plays out like a serial fiction, with Harry attempting to apply science to a magical world. If you want to read it, be forewarned, for this story nitpicks at the original Harry Potter story and it also destroys everything that you thought you knew about Harry Potter.

Or as the writer says: This fic is widely considered to have really hit its stride starting at around Chapter 5. If you still don’t like it after Chapter 10, give up.

So, what’s different about Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? Harry sees Draco Malfoy as a person and not an enemy. he also sees Ron as dull and uninteresting and so, they don’t become friends. Harry calls Snape out on his bull during potions class. (And that’s just the beginning of the story!)

This is one of the most popular fan fiction stories about Harry Potter out there and I highly suggest that you read this story immediately.

Plus, rational Harry is so much better that Rowling Harry.

The Story:
The Website:

Another Version of a Magical School

English: The Lillard Hall dormitory at the Tab...

English: The Lillard Hall dormitory at the Tabor Academy, a private prepatory boarding school in Marion, Massachusetts. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, what is Gareth Hall Academy?

While I was writing Harry Potter fan fiction, I had come up with the idea of an alternative magical school since Hogwarts can’t be the only magical school in England. Which is why I invented the school called Gareth Hall Academy. Gareth Hall Academy was founded by Maurice Gareth, and the school was built during the Middle Ages, when the persecution of witches was in its prime.

Gareth Hall Academy functions as more of a magical public school and less of a collection place for talented wizards and witches. Also, since the school’s opening and sequential endurance over the years, very few people tended to notice Gareth Hall Academy at all. In fact, most wizards would rather send their children to Hogwarts than a school that sits in a mainly muggle city.

That was, until a certain (Mary-Sue) orphan girl was transferred from Hogwarts and then all hell broke loose.

In another story of Gareth Hall Academy, we have a story about a girl named Aubrielle Carmichael and what happened when she was sent to Gareth Hall Academy.

In this circumstance, we see Gareth Hall as less of a school for magically gifted teenagers and more of a school for kids who just can’t handle life at a regular school. Also, Gareth Hall is renamed as Homas Liamson Academy and is located in Maine. Aubrielle had been sent to H. L. A. after an incident where she is nearly beaten to death for defending a bullied student.

Aubrielle quickly learns that H. L. A. isn’t your typical boarding school; not if 1/4 the student population was in training to becoming mages. She also discovers that far from being a normal student, her mother had been a mage and once attended the school. Aubrielle decides to train as a mage (despite her misgivings about magic) and all sorts of random stuff happen.

Well, that’s the story so far, but will I actually write it? Probably not. But still, it’s nice to have a story that doesn’t have the words “Harry Potter” as its title or title character.

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