The Hayley Chame Essay

The following essay concerns the part of The Story That Made No Sense, where Hayley Chame is concerned.

I want to protest. Seriously, I want to protest. Hayley Chame is nothing more than the secret love child of Lily Evans and Severus Snape, and that character is played by one Harry Potter, which makes me very angry. I don’t like Harry, and I especially hate him now that he’s chosen to play the part of a boy who is pushed into the background of a (much better) hero and deemed only to be the short-lived gay love interest of said hero.

Nobody needs those.

Also, Hayley’s family has all the worst aspects that a family can find, yet why nobody called social services on them is upsetting. I also don’t understand for the life of me why Matthew Larson would want to live in a family that’s so bad, it makes his evil biological relatives look good. Even he should know to get away from the chames, as they’re a terrible influence.

Come on, people! Even Sadie Schroeder is better than these stupid idiotic losers, and she’s a whiny Mary-sue brat as it is!”

Anyway, thank you for reading this plodding junk known as an essay and remember, kids, that when you create a character, make sure you follow the rules or else you’ll have character that’s so useless that you’ll want to kill them off before they meet the main hero.

Advertisements

So, what’s next?

harry moffer 1

harry moffer 1 (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

Well, I know you’re all thinking what we’re going to be doing now that 2012 has come and gone. Since we’ve absolutely gotten over Harry Potter, here’s some of the things we’re working on for this year:

  • Finishing “This Story Makes No Sense”
  • Starting the Harry Moffer parody series
  • Writing at least one Harry Potter ripoff
  • Beginning the story “The Anti-Potter Fantasy Club”
  • Writing the ending to Away In England
  • Writing the ending to Bad Harry Potter Fan Fiction Stories
  • Fake parodies of Harry Potter
  • Rewriting the ending to Harry Potter

This list is only temporary, as there might be more ideas that we can be doing on this blog. We’ll be back with more.

The Story That Made No Sense to be Renamed as “This Story Makes No Sense”

I’m deciding to give “The Story That Made No Sense” a second chance to actually…make NO sense!

How will I do that?

Well, I’m renaming the whole thing as “This Story Makes No Sense“, and taking the entire 7-part series and turning it into one big story, an epilogue, of course! It’s going to satirize the entire Harry Potter series and the fan fiction that was spawned from that. Plus, I’m going to do a Harry Potter rip-off separately from this story, and I’d like to get everything sorted out so that this fic and the rip-off are separate.

So, let’s prepare for the satire to begin!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction that makes fun of characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. I do not claim any ownership over the characters or the world of Harry Potter, as everything Harry Potter related belongs to J. K. Rowling and why would I want to claim something like that?

Author’s note, or how this got started: When I was busy reading Harry Potter fan fiction, I sometimes wondered to myself what if there never was a Harry Potter? Sure, it’s already been done before, but don’t you think what if there never was a Harry Potter? If someone else were the Boy-Who-Lived, then who would it be? When Harry makes a wish to never be Harry Potter, he unknowingly messes up the world. There is now Tyler Trobber, and he must do what Harry did So sit back and relax, and read the story that made no sense!

Who is Hayley Chame?

Contrary to popular opinion, Haley is not who you think he is. Which means he is not the secret love child of Lily Evans and Severus Snape. But he is significant to the story nonetheless. 

When I originally wrote The Story That Made No Sense, Hayley and Tyler were to be a couple. Yet when people begged me to make them a gay couple, I pulled the plug on that series. But the story about Hayley cannot be ignored, so I decided to put it back in to the new series that I’m writing, albeit a different outcome. Yet we don’t see much of Haley and this new story, as Hayley has already played his part.  

So what role will Hayley play in your new story?  

I’m glad you asked, Because while I have yet to decide what to do with Hayley right now, I see him as more of the delusional fanboy boy who is stalking Tyler as opposed to being Tyler’s love interest. At the same time, however, I hate to say it, but Hayley does not play a significant role in Tyler’s story.  Sad to say though, this is what happens when you create a character who doesn’t contribute anything to the story. 

Who is Tyler Foster?

Before we go any further, I must ask: Who is Tyler Foster?

I’m glad you asked, because we’re going to see him in this story. I’ve already written a description about him in another blog post, but this is when we will get to know him.

Tyler was born on May 9; his parents were Joseph and Matilda. (Because I’ve grown critical of orphans being the heroes, I decided to leave Tyler’s parents in the story and give them a chance to deal with Tyler’s misbehavior.) I’ve yet to decide which city he was born in, but I know it’s in Northern England, as opposed to him being born in London, England.

In this story, Tyler has a huge imagination and often goes on wild imaginary adventures. This causes trouble for him and everyone else, especially when one of his imaginary stories destroys the school and injures a rival.

Harry’s Wish

So, what exactly did Harry wish for?

In my now deleted series “The Series That Made No Sense”, Harry wished that he was never Harry Potter in the first place. Of course, that wish not only destroys his own life, but it destroys the lives of everyone around him. (To make things worse, Harry’s parents, James and Lily, never meet at Hogwarts, meaning that James marries a random girl and Lily ends up with Severus Snape.) Harry doesn’t realize that making that wish to never be Harry Potter was akin to him wishing that he was never born.

And to wish that you were never born is the worst wish to make.

So, what drove Harry to make that wish?

Well, it was a combination of his horrible childhood, never being genuinely loved and cared for, and being treated as a sacrificial lamb that drove him to doing what he did. (And of course, it was all Dumbledore’s fault Harry turned out the way he did, but I’ll tackle that in another blog post.)

Now that we know why Harry made his wish and what drove him to make that wish, you may wonder how the others reacted to him making that wish. Well, sorry to upset you, but I never had a chance to write their reactions before the story began. (And that’s something I will regret for the rest of my life.)

The History of “The Story That Made No Sense”

As I’ve said on the first post of this blog, I wrote the story when I was disappointed with the final book in the Harry Potter series. Of course, it turned into a poorly-written parody, with Harry Potter making a terrible (and completely selfish) decision to delete himself from the world. That decision destroyed the wizarding world and forced another young boy to take Harry’s place as the hero of the series.

Needless to say, the boy was worse than what Harry had been.

For example, the boy lived a worse life than Harry did, which was why he happily agreed to go off with Hagrid to Hogwarts (or whatever you call it, since there is no Harry Potter, there can’t be a Hogwarts!). Also, the boy’s two friends are even weirder than Ron and Hermione put together.

But that’s not the worst of it.

Harry himself is reduced to playing the part of the love interest who is useless when the main character is in trouble, which happens on several occasions. Plus, although Harry finally has the family he wants, his family is the worst family you can find on this earth. (Plus, it would be a waste of time describing them.)

So, what we have here is a story which doesn’t make any sense.

I also wrote the prequel that doesn’t make any sense, and it continued to destroy the Harry Potter world. Luckily, when I wrote The Sequel That Made No Sense, something inside me told me to STOP WRITING THE STORY AND DELETE IT FROM THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW!!! (Ironically, writing The Sequel That Made No Sense made me stop writing (and reading) Harry Potter fanfiction altogether. But I’ll talk about that later.)

Anyway, with that being done, I ended up deleting my fanfiction.net account and disassociating myself from the Harry Potter fandom for a long time. But the story about a boy who goes on an adventure only to realize that he was causing trouble in his school stayed with me for a while, as I knew what I had to do.

With that, that’s the story behind the story that made no sense. Of course, this story will be exclusive, pointing out things that Harry Potter got wrong (and what I’m doing to correct the mistakes), and presenting to the world the story that should have been written. Now let’s get this story started!

Meet the Characters

OK, here are some of the characters we will meet in this story:

  1. Tyler Julian Foster – Tyler is the main hero of this story. He has a huge imagination and loves to make up stories. Yet he often gets in trouble for having a vivid imagination and sometimes takes things a bit too far. When he is kicked out of Pinecastle Academy in England for causing a huge distrubance and is sent to Kegarth School of Magic in Canada (town to be decided later), Tyler realizes that he needs to shape up or else he won’t become the wizard he was meant to be.
  2. Matthew Larson – Matthew is Tyler’s best friend in Pinecastle Academy. He is often involved in Tyler’s imaginative stories. That was, until one of their games causes destruction to the school. Matthew and Tyler are separated when Tyler is sent to Kegarth School of Magic in Canada.
  3. Skylar Kressler – Skylar is Tyler’s other best friend and fellow roleplayer. She is often known as the voice of reason. But when Tyler is expelled from Pinecastle Academy and sent to Kegarth School of Magic, Skylar is upset, yet she had warned Tyler that his bad habits of ignoring the world would backfire.
  4. Hayley Chame – Hayley is Tyler’s friend and rumored love interest. This doesn’t please the headmaster of Pinecastle, and he tries to separate the two boys. When Hayley and Tyler are caught together one day, the headmaster expells both boys, sending Tyler to Kegarth School of Magic.
  5. Malcolm Durham – Malcolm is Tyler’s rival and worst enemy, as Tyler refused to be his friend when the boys were younger. The rivalry between them was what caused most of the trouble Tyler deals with in the story.

Of course, when Tyler goes to Kegarth School of Magic, he meets Jonah Clifford, Corey Griffith, Laurel Waterman, Helen Sterling, and Caleb Matthews. Only time will tell if they become friends or rivals, since Tyler’s reputation as a troublemaker is something that will hinder him for a while.