Never Thought We Would See This Happen…

Well, it’s happening today.

If you remember the bad fanfiction that was the Harry Potter epilogue, it has been 19 years since the Voldemort Wars ended.

Meaning, it’s officially 19 years later; on that day, a young boy was sent to Hogwarts by his parents, and reading that part in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows was AWKWARD for everyone!

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

In fact, I must say that today is the day when we finally see the dreaded Harry Potter epilogue come to life. As in, Harry’s poorly-named second son is on his way to Hogwarts.

I don’t believe it.

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Farewell, Alan Rickman | Forever Young Adult

via Farewell, Alan Rickman | Forever Young Adult

Well, everyone, I am sad to inform you all about the death of one Alan Rickman from this evil thing called cancer. As we all know, he played a large number of unforgettable characters, such as Hans Gruber in “Die Hard”, Sheriff of Nottingham in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”, Alexander Dane/Dr. Lazarus in “Galaxy Quest”, Col. Brandon in “Sense & Sensibility”, and Judge Turpin in “Sweeney Todd”.

But I know all you Potter-loving addicts (and former addicts) know him best as Harry Potter’s Professor Severus Snape. And it’s true.

He will be missed by everyone. (You know what they say about the deaths of famous people always happening in threes…)

P.S., screw you, cancer! I’d zap you to death, but I’m not a wizard.

How different would the Harry Potter series be, if it was written by George R.R. Martin instead of J.K. Rowling?

Jacquel Chrissy’s Answers – Quora

Well, here’s how I would see it:

1. Ginny Weasley and her twin brother Gerald would be banging each other, creating three bastard children while she was married to Harry Potter. James (who is the oldest) will be sitting on the Iron Throne after Harry dies in a Quidditch accident.

2. Harry would marry Ginny even though he still pines for a dead Hermione Granger. He also hires his best friend Neville Longbottom to be his hand and has illicit relationships with other girls and create numoerous bastard children.

3. Ron who is the most despised member of the Weasley family, is written as a Tyrion lookalike. Plus, he’d be a badass.

4. Neville is executed by James after he discovers the truth about Ginny and Gerald’s relationship. This rather unholy act angers Neville’s son Richard, who goes to war against the magical kingdom of Hogwartos. After several victories against the Weasley family, Arthur has Richard and his mother Hannah killed at the Lion Wedding.

5. Hermione, who was supposed to marry Harry, runs off with Draco Malfoy instead. Their son, Scorpius, is seen as the future hero even though he is raised as Neville’s bastard son. (in other words, D+H=S)

6. When Hermione ran off with Draco, Harry starts a war that gets the entire Malfoy family killed except for one.  Luna escapes across the sea to a foreign land called Azkabanos, where she becomes Khaleesi.

7. James is poisoned at the Snake wedding and Ron is blamed. He wants a trial by combat. His champion Cedric Diggory (who came to Hogs Landing to get revenge for his sister Cho’s death during Harry’s rebellion) fights against Viktor Krum and has his head crushed. (Ron also kills Arthur on the toilet and runs off to Azkabanos, where he meets Luna.)

8. Alice Longbottom would have to marry Ron, but escapes thanks to Severus Snape (who would be like Littlefinger). Lorcan would be crippled by Gerald and be trained in scrying by Hagrid. No word on Lysander.

9. Albus-Severus would be a weak king and Ginny would be arrested by the Order of Merlin for adultery, incest, and murder. Lily-Luna would be in Camelot, engaged to marry Chi Chang. (She also loses an ear)

10. All in all, there will be more violence, more sex, and more bad language than in Game of Thrones.

Top 10 Villians who are better than Lord Voldemort

Hello, and welcome to another week of top 10 in fandom. I hoped that you enjoyed the last list, because nothing is better than a good old-fashioned plot twist.

Anyway, this week’s topic is the top 10 villains who are better than Lord Voldemort. I mean, let’s face it: Voldemort is just a noseless freak who makes today’s story book villains look really stupid. I mean, why would you want to be afraid of a wizard who kills himself due to some weak boy wizard’s ineptitude and inability to actually stop him?

OK, enough with the ranting. The villains who are better than Lord Voldemort are as follows:

10. The Joker (from the Batman movies): because nothing is scarier than a man who doesn’t have a plan. Also, why so serious?

9. Loki (from Thor) I mean, Loki would very much take down Voldemort in a fight. plus, remember the Avengers movie?

8. The Volturi (from The Twilight Saga): it’s pretty much safe to say that these guys are the main villains. I mean, they do show up and confront the Cullens on a number of occasions.

7. King Galbatorix (from the Inheritance Cycle): is there anyone worse than a king who wants to take over EVERYTHING, including controlling the dragon riders?

6. Megatron (from Transformers): he’s altogether terrifying and cruel and wants to take over the world.

5. Agent Smith (from the Matrix movies): Nuff said.

4. Valentine Morgenstern (from the Mortal Instruments): his schemes are 10x more terrifying than Lord Voldemort’s nonsense.

3. Kronos (from the Percy Jackson series): a Titan as a villain is terrifying indeed.

2. Darth Vader (from Star Wars): Believe it, he just HAD to be on this list.

1. Sauron (from The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings): this villain rules them all. Plus, he made that stupid ring.

Well, that’s all for this list. If you find yourself disagreeing with any of the above items for any reason, then let me know in the comments. See you next week for more Top 10 in Fandom!

Read J.K. Rowling’s new post for the latest Harry Potter ‘gossip’ (from Today.com)

via Read J.K. Rowling’s new post for the latest Harry Potter ‘gossip’

Well, once again, we have another Harry Potter story from J. K. Rowling. And as interesting as this may appear to be, it just feels like fan fiction. I mean, there’s way too much Harry Potter fan fiction out there, so why do we need some from the author. If she’s *THAT* desperate to continue the Harry Potter series, she should just publish some short stories on Amazon.com.

It’s as simple as that.

A Victim’s Guide to HPWS :: HPWS information, interaction, rehabilitation

via A Victim’s Guide to HPWS :: HPWS information, interaction, rehabilitation.

What is HPWS?

It’s short for “Harry Potter Withdrawal Syndrome“. This psychological problem is the result of what happens when a person withdraws from the world of Harry Potter. According to the website, HPWS is caused by an addiction to the immensely-popular Harry Potter series, and the books (which was written by J.K. Rowling) are read and beloved by billions of fans around the world.

So, what causes HPWS?

A prolonged exposure to anything relating to Harry Potter.

What are the symptoms of HPWS?

  • Interest in Harry Potter (by rereading the books, watching the movies, writing fanfictions, drawing fan art)
  • Thinking that Harry Potter is above all other books and hating (or shutting out) any other book that poses a “threat” to Harry Potter (such as Eragon, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, the Hunger Games, or the Percy Jackson series)
  • Spending countless hours on Harry Potter-related forums
  • Attempting to “convert” people to read the Potter series.
  • Getting angry with and/or bullying people who dislike Harry Potter
  • Spending countless hours “trapped” in the world of Harry Potter (includes daydreaming)
  • Even worse, trying to inject yourself into the world of Harry Potter (yeah, that was me!)

Treatment options

According to the website, here are the following treatments:

  • Ten-day treatment plan, which includes withdrawing from Harry Potter over a period of 10 days
  • Thirty-day treatment plan, which includes withdrawing from Harry Potter over a period of 30 days
  • Purging: after following the 10 or 30 day treatment plan, a purging includes withdrawing from ALL Harry Potter-related websites, putting the books and DVDS away (or giving them away), getting rid of anything such as posters or other things.

However, there are those who are deemed “Incurably Corrupt”, which means that they can never be “cured” of their Harry Potter obsession. (At this point, you might as well say a prayer for them and hope for the best.)

Despite the treatments, HPWS can come back, so be on your guard at ALL times!

Well, HPWS isn’t a real disease, but it sure is spreading like one!

Ideas To Explore in a Next-Gen/Future Harry Potter Story or Roleplay – Springhole.net

via Ideas To Explore in a Next-Gen/Future Harry Potter Story or Roleplay – Springhole.net.

I found this on Springhole.Net and decided that this could be useful for when you want to do a Harry Potter story set in the future(or maybe not)

Harry Potter’s story takes place during the 1990s. But we want to write a future story. But according to the article, this could be a problem for the following reasons:

  1. You can’t bring your Smartphone into Hogwarts. OR you can use magic to make your Smartphone work. No matter what, there are no Muggle-made devices allowed at Hogwarts. (Or wizards could ban Muggle things altogether.)
  2. Secrecy is harder, as Muggles could film someone doing magic with their Smartphones and upload the video onto YouTube.
  3. Muggle-born wizards and witches’ lives are ruined by Hogwarts (plus, going to Hogwarts compromises said Muggle-born’s future in the Muggle world)
  4. Even better, Muggles seem to have it easier than wizards; since Muggles are technologically advanced and wizards are a century and a half behind.

Maybe that’ll discourage you from writing Harry Potter next generation fanfiction, or at least make you rethink the world of Harry Potter altogether. (I was already rethinking Harry Potter long before this list came out.)

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Harry Potter References in “Janette Lennox”

The Hall at Christ Church in Oxford, England.

The Hall at Christ Church in Oxford, England. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my 2013 NaNoWriMo story Janette Lennox, we have to wonder how many Harry Potter references are in this story. I know that there’s quite a few references, such as:

  • Janette being left at the church=Harry being left at the Dursleys
  • Janette being bullied by Tyson=Harry being bullied by Dudley
  • Janette being friends with Malinda and Silas=Harry being friends with Ron and Hermione
  • Janette leaving Bethsaida Chapel to attend Gamaris Academy of Alchemy & Magic=Harry leaving the Dursleys’ home to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

There are several profound differences between Harry Potter and Janette Lennox; the main difference is that Janette is going through a mild form of PTSD after Tyson beats her for not attending his birthday party. Plus, Janette feels inadequate at times and she avoids the other students, especially those who have parents. As far as we know, Harry doesn’t even suffer the ill effects of being locked away in a closet for ten years, nor does he suffer from depression because he was living with people who did not like him or treat him well.

I could go on describing the differences between Harry and Janette, but that’s not this blog post. I have written Janette to be a darker version of Harry Potter with a few Twilight-like elements thrown in for good measure. There is the “Golden Trio” of Malinda, Silas, and a new boy named Garrett, but none of them are actually good; in fact, they plot to kidnap Janette and rid her of her magic. All of this tension will actually make a better story than Harry Potter ever was.

Now you know.

Link to this story on Smashwords:  (Janette Lennox)

Harry Potter Ruined My Life

Whoa, that’s pretty harsh what you went through. I’m just glad that that never happened to me.

Also, I wasn’t a Potterhead in high school, and neither of my friends read the books. (To be honest, nobody in my high school was too big on Harry Potter to begin with.)

Anyway, good essay.

Orange Juice and Toothpaste

When I was eight, I was really good friends with the school librarian. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I was that kid. I had just started wearing glasses; I had also recently quit soccer and, as a result, I was growing a nice little pot belly; and, though this was the age everyone was supposed to like everyone, I was annoying as fuck. Sure, I had my friends, but I was a bossy bitch. (Haha“was.”) So the librarian and I? Best friends.

It had its benefits, though. Sometimes I would ask to go to the bathroom and just visit her instead, and I wouldn’t get into trouble. Because, I mean, hey, who’s gonna punish a kid for wanting to sneak away to the library? I also got first pick of all the new arrivals. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets had just been published, and…

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Jeff Starr’s Harry Potter and the Veil of Death

via Jeff Starr’s Harry Potter and the Veil of Death.

I have read this story years BEFORE the boringly unrealistic “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallowswas even thought of. In this more realistic fan fiction retelling, Harry and his friends fight Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters while Harry deals with his past and other issues.

Also, the story treats the so-called “Deathly Hallows” with more respect than the original book does.

On another note, there are several characters who die, and their deaths are treated with respect, not relegated to a few lines and Harry isn’t mourning for them.

Plus, the epilogue, while painfully predictable, is much better than the pile of sludge that J.K. Rowling gave to us.

So, in the words of advertisements everywhere, don’t read “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows“; read this story instead. You’ll have a better time if you do.

I’ll be giving out a review of this story soon.