The Hayley Chame Essay

The following essay concerns the part of The Story That Made No Sense, where Hayley Chame is concerned.

I want to protest. Seriously, I want to protest. Hayley Chame is nothing more than the secret love child of Lily Evans and Severus Snape, and that character is played by one Harry Potter, which makes me very angry. I don’t like Harry, and I especially hate him now that he’s chosen to play the part of a boy who is pushed into the background of a (much better) hero and deemed only to be the short-lived gay love interest of said hero.

Nobody needs those.

Also, Hayley’s family has all the worst aspects that a family can find, yet why nobody called social services on them is upsetting. I also don’t understand for the life of me why Matthew Larson would want to live in a family that’s so bad, it makes his evil biological relatives look good. Even he should know to get away from the chames, as they’re a terrible influence.

Come on, people! Even Sadie Schroeder is better than these stupid idiotic losers, and she’s a whiny Mary-sue brat as it is!”

Anyway, thank you for reading this plodding junk known as an essay and remember, kids, that when you create a character, make sure you follow the rules or else you’ll have character that’s so useless that you’ll want to kill them off before they meet the main hero.

Rebooting the Story That Made No Sense

The Hall at Christ Church in Oxford, England.

The Hall at Christ Church in Oxford, England. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This year, I intend to give this story a much-needed makeover. But instead of just another Harry Potter rewrite, I’m going to have an original idea regarding Tyler Potter and the show that he was ripped from.

Plus, this story might make you rethink the way you see orphaned characters in general.

Here we go.

Happy New Year!

After an exciting new year of NOTHING HARRY POTTER RELATED, we now will kick off the new year by doing more things having to do with Tyler Potter, the Harry Moffer parody series, and even finding a way to do the short all-in-one story called “This Story Just Makes No Sense“.

So yes, it’ll be a new year, but will anything on this blog make any sense? I don’t think so!

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Changes to the Story That Made No Sense

Here’s a list of how the story about Tyler Potter has been changed:

  1. The moment where Harry Potter makes his stupid wish and the world is changed forever.
  2. Tyler’s life with the Herron family.
  3. NO SLASH!!! (Sorry, Harry, but I cannot let any slash be in my story)*
  4. Getting Tyler away from the Herron.
  5. Alternative meeting with Matthew and Coco
  6. Changing the names of Harry Potter characters and places.
  7. Eliminating all references to Harry Potter’s past life.
  8. Tyler is now Tyler Foster.
  9. No Lord Voldemort.
  10. The story is to be as realistic as possible.

Well, that’s some of the ideas that I’m implementing for the story, which will now be titled “This Story Makes No Sense“. Look for that story to be released soon!

refers to the story on fanfiction.net where Harry is constantly begging me to make the story a slash story and to put Tyler and Hayley together.

This Story Isn’t Done Yet…

Tyler, Marty, & Coco

Tyler, Marty, & Coco (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

…because I’m not finished writing it!

As you can tell from my earlier posts, I’m about to do a huge overhaul of the original Story That Made No Sense by rewriting the entire plot chapter by chapter.

Wanna know why?

Because I plan on turning this into a short little parody (which will be a trilogy rather than a seven-part series) and I’d like to get it online and done as soon as I can.

Just so you know, I’m not ending Tyler Potter’s story anytime soon!

That is all.

So, What Happened in “The Epilogue That Made No Sense”?

Well, basically, here’s the deal:

  1. Tyler Potter married Sadie Schroeder (the Mary-Sue character) and they have three children named Miles, Alexander-David, and Annette Aslan.
  2. Marty McGuire married Coco Riddle and they have two children named Marcie and Cyrus.
  3. Hayley Snape married Sophia Meuller and they had four children, yet only two have been named Felicity and Finley.
  4. Malcolm Dratzins has a son named Devlin, but his wife was unnamed.
  5. Trixis Wolfin (possibly a play on the name Teddy Lupin) is dating Pepper Snape (Hayley’s niece). Pepper’s father is one of Hayley’s older brothers, but which one of his brothers is Pepper’s father, the story does not say.
  6. Alistair Johnson married Tyler’s cousin Galadriel Black and they are the parents of an unnamed set of twins. Alistair is also a techer at Pinecastle Academy.
  7. At this point, Marty hasn’t reconciled with the McGuire or Luvannokitch families, nor does he want to.
  8. Alexander-David fears for his place at Pinecastle Academy, but Tyler convinces him not to worry, as it doesn’t matter where he is placed, just as long as he makes something of it.
  9. Alexander-David stares at Felicity. (Hayley/Tyler part II?)
  10. Malcolm is confronted by Hayley.
  11. After all was said and done, the kids board the train and the train takes off. Sadie comforts Tyler and reassures him that Alexander-David will be fine.
  12. It ends with those three dreaded words: “All was well“.

Well, that was my take of the parody of the Harry Potter Epilogue. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and I might even build a story around these poorly-created new characters at some point in time.

The Epilogue That Made No Sense

And now for the epilogue that certainly makes no sense:

(WARNING: This story will parody the Harry Potter Epilogue!)

19 years have passed since the evil Magician was defeated.

Yes. 19 years is too long for this story, but since we’re poking fun at Harry Potter, we might as well get this out of the way now or else we’ll never see the ending.

So, here we go.

Tyler and Sadie Potter were standing at the Scich Mire train station with their children Miles, Alexander-David, and Annette Aslan. The boys were a bit excited over going to Pinecastle Academy of Magic. But Annette Aslan wasn’t very happy about it; she was 9 years old and she wanted to go to Pinecastle Academy.

“Why can’t I go to Pinecastle with Miles and Alexander-David?” she snapped at her mother.

“You’re not ready yet,” said Sadie, who still looked as radiant as the day that she first laid eyes on Tyler Potter and wanted to possess him. “You have two more years until your magic manifests inside you and the you can go.”

Annette Aslan said, “But that’s not fair, mom. I want to go now!”

At that point, Marty and Coco McGuire came with their children Marcie and Cyrus. Marcie was the same age as Alexander-David. Marty said, “I take it that things are going well with you, Ty?”

“They should be,” said Tyler.

“I don’t know,” said Coco. “Last week, Marty threw out some random news reporter who was clamoring about some online newspaper wanting to interview him or something like that.”

“I already told everyone, I’m not interested in spilling out my life story,” Marty snapped. “I have a life now. I’ve got children to raise and a marriage to maintain. People need to learn to butt out of my life! The damage has already been done, so I want nothing to do with the McGuires or the Luvannokitch families.”

“Indeed,” said Coco.

“Some things never change,” said Sadie.

Hayley and Sophia Snape also showed up with their children, saying, “Well, we’ve got one more year before we send Finley off.”

“And you’re here why?” said Sadie.

“Just to see them off, of course,” said Hayley. “You didn’t think I’d not show up, or did you?”

“No way,” said Tyler. “I mean, what’s a sendoff without the whole family seeing you off?”

While the grownups were talking, the children were staring at the train. Marcie said, “Just wait, Alex. Another hour and we’ll be off to school. Isn’t this going to be great?”

“i think so,” said Alexander-David.

“Why are you so upset, Alex?” said Marcie.

“It’s just that I’m not sure of myself,” said Alexander-David. “What if I end up in Unicornfeather instead of Phoenixhorn?”

“It’s not the end of the world if you end up in Unicornfeather,” Tyler said to Alexander-David. “I could have gone into Unicornfeather if I wanted to. I could have gone into Pixiepuffle or Dragonsting as well. But I chose to go into Phoenixhorn and while it might not have been my best choice, it was the choice that mattered. Besides, if I never went into Phoenixhorn…”

“…he would have never met me,” Sadie beamed at him.

Tyler nodded and turned to see Malcolm Dratzins, his wife, and their son Devlin coming into the train station. He then looked at Alexander-David and said, “Don’t worry too much about the Sorting Hat; sometimes, it makes choices that seem ridiculous at first, but you’ll soon grow into your new role…”

“Hey, isn’t that Trixis Wolfin kissing Pepper Snape?” cried Cyrus as he pointed to a young couple standing on the side of the ticket booth.

“Well, isn’t this nice?” said Coco. “Looks like Trixis is on his way to joining the Snape family.”

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me!” Hayley cried out. “Not my niece!”

Just then, the train whistle blew, signaling that the train would depart from the station in 30 minutes. Immediately, the families began to steer their children towards the train, dragging trunks full of magical school supplies with them. As Felicity Snape boarded the train, she caught a glimpse of Alexander-David Potter. Hayley and Tyler saw the children staring at each other and shook their heads. But nothing prepared them for the fact that Malcolm and Devlin Dratzins approached them.

“So, you decided to show up right after we kicked you out,” Marty snapped at him.

“But I had to return,” said Malcolm. “The wizarding world had requested that I return and take up my father’s post. Plus, my son Devlin was accepted into Pinecastle and I can’t just not let him go, or can I?”

“I don’t know what strings you pulled to get back here,” Hayley snapped, “but I won’t let your son near my children…”

“OK, that’s quite enough,” said Sophia. “I don’t know why you boys insist on restarting this feud, but I won’t have it.” To the children, she said, “Tell Alistair that we all said hi.”

“Alistair? you mean Professor Johnson?” said Felicity.

“Isn’t he married to Galadriel Black?” said Marcie.

“This is great!” said Alexander-David. “We’ll get to see them and the twins at Pinecastle!”

After one last goodbye, the train took off quickly, with Finley, Cyrus, and Annette Aslan chasing after it until it pulled out of the station and became a blip on the horizon. Trixis went to retrieve the children as Tyler sighed. He hoped that Alexander-David would be happy during his first term at Pinecastle Academy.

Sadie said to him, “Don’t worry, Tyler. He’s going to be fine.”

“I hope so,” Tyler said more to himself than to her. Hopefully, Headmaster Isabella Dumbledore would do a better job leading his sons than her father manipulated him.

He reached out and felt the crescent moon-shaped scar that still covered his right cheek. It had not troubled him for 19 years. All was well.

(Well, that’s how the story ends! I told you that it didn’t make sense!)

A New Era

Harry Potter 2011 Blu Ray Years 1-8 Box Set Cover

Harry Potter 2011 Blu Ray Years 1-8 Box Set Cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is the beginning of a new era, and this new era will be glorious, because we will never again have to hear the words “OMG THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE IS COMING OUT IN SEVEN MONTHS!!!

We here at The Blog That Made No Sense are happy to announce that this is the year 2012, and this year, there is no more Harry Potter for us to deal with at all. In fact, we now have Tyler Potter to deal with as we focus on building his unusual world from beginning to end.

This year, we are turning off the Harry Potter and turning on the other fan fiction that we think is better than Harry Potter and all that it implies. Hopefully, there will be less Harry and more original fantasy.

Space Wizards

Did you know that Tyler Potter came from a popular 1990’s cartoon? Of course this is all fake, but for the sake of this story, we will discuss the cartoon “Space Wizards“.

The cartoon “Space Wizards” was based off the 1989 movie, which unfortunately, flopped in theaters. But the people loved it, so the TV station Jollywood Studios converted the movie into a cartoon series in 1991 and unleashed it in 1992.

Premise:

In the world of Aganaea (which is a steampunk alternative of planet Earth) a young boy named Tyler Potter dreams of going to the Valport Academy of Enchanted Planetology, which is located in the city of Mistvale. However, the cost of sending him to the academy is expensive and the school doesn’t accept children from the lower social status. Tyler has no idea of who his parents were and all he can safely recall in his past was an explosion in the Damino Valley and himself being found by a poor couple named Bobbie and Corinne Ceveland in the small village of Hillmill.

At the time of this story, Tyler is 15 years old and he was doing chores when he discovered a young girl named Esperanza Melva Conway hiding out on his family farm. Esperanza had been on the run from the Unbots, which was a race of assassins from the underground world. The Unbots had attacked her village (Yunox), killing her parents and enslaving scores of people. Tyler has to hide her from the village and his foster parents since the villagers think the Yunox clan were cruel due to their superior ways and how they had treated the Hillmill clan years earlier.

Within a few weeks, a group of representatives from the academy come to Hillmill looking for any orphans so that they could be educated under King Raphael James Lorenzo del Mondegund’s “Educate An Orphan Program“. This program was intended for children aged 8-12, but for some reason, Tyler impresses Headmaster Lore Maxim and thus gains acceptance into the academy. In Esperanza’s case, however, the headmaster refuses to even consider her entry to the school, seeing as she came from the Yunox clan and the clan was to be punished because they had betrayed the planet to the Cronobinders many years before.

Tyler goes to the academy and he meets Herminia Spencer, Jordon Everett, Mervin Kramer, Nanette Tate, and Brianna Snow. They all got on crazy adventures between classes, such as hunting for hidden treasure, solving the hardest of mysteries, and even trying to get along with Esperanza and trying to locate the Yunox who had escaped from the massacre of their village. But when a cover up is revealed and crimes are exposed, can Tyler and his friends save the day?

Well, that was the cartoon…until the year 1993 came and passed.

Then, for no reason, the show was pulled off the air and replaced by a group of kids who just sat around the house and did nothing very exciting.

Such was life back then.

But not other worry, for the story “Space Wizards” is about to be revamped for a new group of people to enjoy…mainly those who now hate Harry Potter.

And before I forget, here’s a picture of the cast…

From left to right: Esperanza Convay, Jordon Everett, Herminia Spenser, Tyler Potter, Nanette Tate, Mervin Kramer, and Brianna Snow

The Origins of Tyler Potter

Ten Little Wizards

Image via Wikipedia

So, where did Tyler Potter come from?

According to this blog, Tyler was first featured in a show called “Space Wizards“, in which Tyler is a 15-year-old boy living in a steampunk world called Aganaea and he is sent to a special boarding school to learn to become a space wizard. But when he gets to the school, he discovers that there has been a cover up and a student reappears after disappearing years before.

He came from an early 1990’s cartoon. Not made up for the sake of being in a story that didn’t make any sense.

Later on, we will be exploring Tyler’s world and how and why Tyler was picked to play in a role that would have even the most seasoned reader screaming in agony.