The Crime of Not Liking Harry Potter – a Satirical Essay

If you’re not a Harry Potter fan, then you’ve probably committed an unforgivable crime. You will ultimately lose friends and family members will not talk to you. There will be a curse on your name.

But none of that happened to me. (OK, I have fewer friends than I did back then and my Harry Potter loving cousins still refuse to acknowledge my existence.) Instead of getting in trouble for not being a fan of Harry Potter, I found friends who did things other than sit on the couch and read books all day and interacted with other people instead of being with imaginary friends. Within weeks of being with these new friends, I found that I’m so much happier when I’m with others instead of being by myself. I know there’s a life that doesn’t have to include Harry Potter. And that has made my parents happier, if that’s any indication to you.

If only the others would see what I see, then things will be better for everyone in the end.

Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever book trailer

Here’s the trailer for my Harry Potter parody “Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever“.

The summary: The story is nothing more than a full-on parody of the Harry Potter books, but this time, all references to magic are removed and replaced with nothing more than blatant realism. 14-year-old Harry Hames Moffer is an orphan living with his paranoid relatives when he is invited to attend Warthogpox High School. Harry meets Pun Teasley and Hildegarde Lamer, and they investigate the unpopular Larry Dobber books, which Honnyword could turn into a movie if they don’t act fast.

Link to book on Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/416066

Who is Tyler Foster?

Before we go any further, I must ask: Who is Tyler Foster?

I’m glad you asked, because we’re going to see him in this story. I’ve already written a description about him in another blog post, but this is when we will get to know him.

Tyler was born on May 9; his parents were Joseph and Matilda. (Because I’ve grown critical of orphans being the heroes, I decided to leave Tyler’s parents in the story and give them a chance to deal with Tyler’s misbehavior.) I’ve yet to decide which city he was born in, but I know it’s in Northern England, as opposed to him being born in London, England.

In this story, Tyler has a huge imagination and often goes on wild imaginary adventures. This causes trouble for him and everyone else, especially when one of his imaginary stories destroys the school and injures a rival.