Never Thought We Would See This Happen…

Well, it’s happening today.

If you remember the bad fanfiction that was the Harry Potter epilogue, it has been 19 years since the Voldemort Wars ended.

Meaning, it’s officially 19 years later; on that day, a young boy was sent to Hogwarts by his parents, and reading that part in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows was AWKWARD for everyone!

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

In fact, I must say that today is the day when we finally see the dreaded Harry Potter epilogue come to life. As in, Harry’s poorly-named second son is on his way to Hogwarts.

I don’t believe it.

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Harry Potter Ruined My Life

Whoa, that’s pretty harsh what you went through. I’m just glad that that never happened to me.

Also, I wasn’t a Potterhead in high school, and neither of my friends read the books. (To be honest, nobody in my high school was too big on Harry Potter to begin with.)

Anyway, good essay.

Orange Juice and Toothpaste

When I was eight, I was really good friends with the school librarian. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I was that kid. I had just started wearing glasses; I had also recently quit soccer and, as a result, I was growing a nice little pot belly; and, though this was the age everyone was supposed to like everyone, I was annoying as fuck. Sure, I had my friends, but I was a bossy bitch. (Haha“was.”) So the librarian and I? Best friends.

It had its benefits, though. Sometimes I would ask to go to the bathroom and just visit her instead, and I wouldn’t get into trouble. Because, I mean, hey, who’s gonna punish a kid for wanting to sneak away to the library? I also got first pick of all the new arrivals. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets had just been published, and…

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Jeff Starr’s Harry Potter and the Veil of Death

via Jeff Starr’s Harry Potter and the Veil of Death.

I have read this story years BEFORE the boringly unrealistic “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallowswas even thought of. In this more realistic fan fiction retelling, Harry and his friends fight Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters while Harry deals with his past and other issues.

Also, the story treats the so-called “Deathly Hallows” with more respect than the original book does.

On another note, there are several characters who die, and their deaths are treated with respect, not relegated to a few lines and Harry isn’t mourning for them.

Plus, the epilogue, while painfully predictable, is much better than the pile of sludge that J.K. Rowling gave to us.

So, in the words of advertisements everywhere, don’t read “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows“; read this story instead. You’ll have a better time if you do.

I’ll be giving out a review of this story soon.

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movi...

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movie poster (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

This blog post talks about the most talked-about fan fiction that’s circulating the internet: Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality!

So, what is Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? Well, it’s a fan fiction written by Eliezer Yudkowsky / Less Wrong on FanFiction.Net.

What is this story about, you ask? Here’s the answer:

Suppose that Petunia Evans does NOT marry Vernon Dursley; instead she marries a biochemist named Michael Verres. James and Lily die (just like in every alternative reality) and Harry ends up being adopted by Petunia and Verres. He grows up learning about science and reading science fiction. By the time his Hogwarts letter arrives, Harry is a genius and he sets off attempting to apply the methods of rationality to a world that has never heard of science.

Well, that’s that.

The story plays out like a serial fiction, with Harry attempting to apply science to a magical world. If you want to read it, be forewarned, for this story nitpicks at the original Harry Potter story and it also destroys everything that you thought you knew about Harry Potter.

Or as the writer says: This fic is widely considered to have really hit its stride starting at around Chapter 5. If you still don’t like it after Chapter 10, give up.

So, what’s different about Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? Harry sees Draco Malfoy as a person and not an enemy. he also sees Ron as dull and uninteresting and so, they don’t become friends. Harry calls Snape out on his bull during potions class. (And that’s just the beginning of the story!)

This is one of the most popular fan fiction stories about Harry Potter out there and I highly suggest that you read this story immediately.

Plus, rational Harry is so much better that Rowling Harry.

Links:
The Story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Methods-of-Rationality
The Website: http://hpmor.com/

A New Era

Harry Potter 2011 Blu Ray Years 1-8 Box Set Cover

Harry Potter 2011 Blu Ray Years 1-8 Box Set Cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is the beginning of a new era, and this new era will be glorious, because we will never again have to hear the words “OMG THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE IS COMING OUT IN SEVEN MONTHS!!!

We here at The Blog That Made No Sense are happy to announce that this is the year 2012, and this year, there is no more Harry Potter for us to deal with at all. In fact, we now have Tyler Potter to deal with as we focus on building his unusual world from beginning to end.

This year, we are turning off the Harry Potter and turning on the other fan fiction that we think is better than Harry Potter and all that it implies. Hopefully, there will be less Harry and more original fantasy.

"Harry Potter & Merlin’s School of Magic" to become a series?

I nicked this off my Harry Potter Blog, which no longer exists:

Well, I’m thinking about it, and the way my life with Harry Potter fanfiction is going, I think I’m coming up with a good idea to write a story about the Wingmakers and how they lived their lives BEFORE the idea of Harry Potter attending Merlin‘s came about.

The characters in this story will be of course as follows:

  1. Harrison (Ryenne) & Caleb Tuff: Harry and Dudley’s names in “Merlin’s”
  2. Gladys Tuff: the boys’ adoptive mother
  3. Wilhelmina Tuff: the boy’s adoptive sister, formerly known as Willamaerha Thristal
  4. Michael Rasputin: headmaster of Merlin’s
  5. Eleanor Diggenstyke: matron of Merlin’s
  6. Issac Kempson: descendant of Issac Blake Parson, a wizard who built the Wingmakers village and founded Merlin’s
  7. Mother Mira Jepsten: caretaker of the church in the Wingmaker’s village.

Other characters who will be in this story are:

  1. Ezra Gifford
  2. Leslie Carew
  3. Nathaniel Grady
  4. Susannah, Margaret, & Christian Prewett
  5. Jacquette (Quetta) Fausto Nielsen
  6. Raulin Knighton
  7. Violet Ravensen
  8. Jefferson Hershel

characters from my other fanfics who are featured here:

  1. Princeton, Olivia (Paige), & Emilia Pettigrew
  2. Martin McGuire
  3. Gwendolyn Luvannokitch
  4. Jonathan & Adrian Trichenberg
  5. Jenner & Maurice Du Bois
  6. Robert (Robbie), (Marie) Lousie, David, Felix, & (Matilda) Molly Evans
  7. Dakota & Ginger Jonas
  8. Jacinth & Nicolas Kastianopolis
  9. Jennifer (Jenny), Sarah, & (Wil)Liam Ravencraft
  10. Connor (Kirkwood) Matheson
  11. Philip Dennison
  12. Nina Barlow
  13. Duncan Snyder
  14. Candice Thorpe

And now for a word about:

  • the Wingmakers: The Wingmakers were the original settlers of the land where the village and the school are, and their talents include telekinesis, elemental control, pyrotechnics, and Wiccan arts.
  • Merlin’s: the school where advanced magical arts and Wingmaker skills are taught Located near Cornwall, Wales. It’s really a huge castle, which is described as a modest castle, built of red bricks and set in a valley. It contains a lavish garden, several courtyards, a bronze statue of Issac Blake Parson dressed as an Arthurian knight, a bell tower, and a huge gateway, where the gates are made from steel. It’s interconnected to many smaller buildings and scores of small cabins scattered around a huge field.
  • The village: called Glasnost, which the villagers affectionately called “Camelot” after the King Arthur legends. located next to the school.
  • Michael Rasputin: Don’t let the name Rasputin fool you; Michael is nowhere near related to the infamous Gregory Rasputin (1872-1916) the Russian mystic who practically destroyed czarist Russia.
  • Gladys’s age upon coming to Merlin’s: She was 23 in 1981.
  • Gladys’s children: Everett Jesse, Agnes, & Stanley Tuff, and Aurelien, Justin, Yvaine, & Jérémie Larson. Rasputin is reported to be their father.
  • Squibs: Squibs were historically mistreated by wizards and other magical beings in most countries around the world. Most of them were sent to Merlin’s for safety reasons.

Well, that seems to be about it. I’ll let you all know when I’m starting the story back up again!

Yeah. This sounds like a great idea for a story. I know I will be writing it…eventually! But under a different title.

And after I finish up the original story.

Well, it’s taking me a while to finish it up, but not to worry, I haven’t abandoned it completely. I just need to get the rest of the fanfic knocked into place.

And when that’s done, I can begin with the series, which could be big.

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Welcome to the Blog

Hello, and welcome to the Blog That Makes No Sense. In this blog, we will explore a world where we know the Harry Potter books don’t make any sense. Knowing that, I will write a story about a magical boy that not only makes sense, but brings back the joy of reading to the world once again.

A brief history of the story:

OK, so I know that the story will be written in another blog post, but I have to get this out of the way first.

I first wrote the story after being disappointed with the final Harry Potter book. In fact, I thought that the Harry Potter books were poorly written and went on a downward spiral with every book in the series being published. I wondered what if I rewrote the story in a way that shows people where Harry Potter went wrong and what should have happened in the book series.

I tried to do that on FanFiction.net, but the story fell apart in the sequel. I decided not to do that again.

Well, as I’ve said before, the story will be rewritten in a way that it makes sense.

Anyway, I’m excited to be starting this blog, as I have no idea of where this blog is going to take me. I already know most Harry Potter fans will come out of the woodwork and call me insane for bashing their beloved books, but I don’t care. The Harry Potter books are NOT the best, not where it counts.

I’ll be back in the next blog post.