And the debate goes on

JK Rowling Autograph

JK Rowling Autograph (Photo credit: baslow)

Yesterday, the Internet nearly imploded upon J.K. Rowling admitting that Harry/Hermione should have been a couple and not Ron/Hermione. (My opinion: I support NEITHER couples!)

Well, here are some more articles that discuss this rather useless revelation:

Anyway, here are some fake comments that are filled with anger towards the thing that she had just said:

It makes me sick. Who will be the one to decide between the anticipated maelstrom of criticisms? J. K. Rowling sums up a lot that’s wrong in society, the kind of person who thinks she is a success because she has lots of money and Twitter followers. She also gives the impression she would literally do or say anything to get more followers. ~ Ealnor

This is all the most mealy-mouthed and stupid joke. I speak from some experience!!!!!! Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. ~ Hailer

It’s simple. Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. J. K. Rowling is a childish fraud. We have enough of those already. Please take her back. ~ Caycee

One step too far. I’m not holding my breath. Calling J. K. Rowling: You are required to partake in a reality check as soon as you are able. ~ Janara

Plenty of heat on this one, but it’s time for some light. Most nuts are in denial. What makes me more sad than the fact that the posts were made is that J. K. Rowling lacks the rationality to admit that she was erroneous and that an apology should be forthcoming. ~ Drijad

The difficulty we have is that you can’t have your cake and eat it. Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. A clear sign that the old saw, ‘the end is nigh‘, is idiocy. ~ SuperSaiyanStar

No!!.. Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. This is the last time I’ll read a thread on the issue until the next time. ~ Fonura

Plenty of heat on this one, but it’s time for some light…is it 1st of April? Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. ~ FallenLordDoom

I don’t want to make this personal, but this is a piece so totally flawed that it should be deleted. J. K. Rowling wants to blow off steam…Fine…But it’s not newsworthy. They can stick this in their pipe and smoke it as far as I’m concerned!!! ~ LemurWriter

Sounds like the guest bloggers on this blog are very unhappy about this issue, and I don’t blame them at all. It seems like Rowling just cannot let go of her story or the fame that comes along with the story. I say it’s time for her to slowly and gracefully fade away and let the next big writer take her place, one who will be sensible and not tell readers what they should or should not think about their story.

That is all.

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Harry Potter Redux quote/essay

What if I can’t be their hero? What if I’m destined to be the villain?”

Harry Potter is not the hero in the fan fiction “Harry Potter Redux“; in fact he has turned away from the path of being a hero and taking the path of wisdom. That move had shocked scores of wizards, including Albus Dumbledore, who had originally wanted Harry to go into his preferred house of Gryffindor. Instead, Harry goes into Ravenclaw and walks a fine line between wisdom and heroism. he chooses not to be the hero, but rather the wise mage that his parents and the headmaster never were.

Also, Harry thinks that voldemort isn’t worth fighting and Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger aren’t worthy of being his friends. he chooses two kids named Phil Dennison and Nina Barlow to be his friends, plus inviting two kids Duncan Snyder and the eccentric Candice Thorpe. the group, dubbed the “Blue Crew”, defeats the 15-member Dumbledore’s Army in a battle of wits. Harry defeats Dumbledore and then threatens to expose his true agenda to the wizarding world if he doesn’t stop interfering with his life.

Whether or not Harry will actually become the hero is up for grabs.

15 Ways to Annoy Your Friends Who Love Harry Potter

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Published by michael biegner on Scribd

-1- Call Professor Dumbledor “Professor Dum Dum”

-2- Suggest that in a duel. Samantha Stevens from “Bewitched” would kick Harry’s ass.

-3- Confuse the Lord of the Rings Trilogy details with those of the Harry Potter series of books repeatedly by saying things like: “Remember when Gandalf and Voldemort were fighting and the Orcs took over the Hogwartz School of Wizardry in the Town of Rivendale?”

-4- Wonder out loud to your friends if Harry Potter was not in fact the secret love child of Colonel Sherman Potter and Hot Lips Houlihan from the TV series M. A. S. H.

-5- Suggest to your friends that Harry should consider a line of Prada eyewear instead of those horrid horrid round glasses.

-6- Tell your friends that if Weezie Jefferson married Ron Weasly her name would have been “Weezie Weasly“.

-7- Inform your friends that “muggles” are what Fraggles drink beer from.

-8- Whenever speaking about Harry, refer to him as “Mr. Pot-Tare” the way Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington did in the TV Series “Welcome Back Kotter

-9- Suggest that Andi McDowell would have made a better Voldemort than Ray Fiennes.

-10- Refer to the author, J K Rowling as “J J Walker” and tell people you think she is “Dyno-Mite!

-11- Repeat every 15 minutes to your friends that “Hermione rhymes with ‘hiney‘.”

-12- Insist to your friends that you saw the actor who plays Professor Dumbldore on a TV infomercial for Viagra, talking about his “limp wand” problem.

-13- Tell your friends that Quiddich is not a real sport, like golf, NASCAR, horse racing, bowling and poker.

-14- Wonder out loud to your friends where Harry takes his invisibility cloak to be dry cleaned.

-15- Order the last Harry Potter book UPS ground and then when it finally DOES arrive, read only a few pages per day.

The Harry Potter Saga Had an Alternate Ending – The Digital Reader

Lord Voldemort

Lord Voldemort (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

via The Harry Potter Saga Had an Alternate Ending – The Digital Reader.

Here’s a story about what happened IF Harry Potter had some sense and arrested Lord Voldemort for causing nothing but trouble for everyone.

Read and enjoy.

More alternative endings will follow nothing

Another Way to End Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone

(based on the alternative ending to The Story That Made No Sense)

Harry walked through the door and into a small room. He saw a small table in the middle of the room and on the table was the stone. The famed Sorcerer’s Stone. That stone that he had been looking for for several weeks. He reached out to touch the stone when a hand stopped him.

Professor Snape?” Harry cried out as he turned to face the man. “No, no; it can’t be! It just can’t be!” Professor Snape frowned as he looked at the boy.

“What are you doing here, Harry Potter?” Professor Snape snapped in anger.

“Ron, Hermione and I all thought that someone was going to steal the Sorcerer’s Stone, so that’s why I came here,” said Harry.

“Indeed,” said Professor Snape.

Just then, there was a muffled scream, and Professor McGonagall and Professor Vector came out, with Professor Quirrell between them. He was bound hand and foot.

“Professor McGonagall?” Harry squeaked, but the old woman glared at him. “We caught Professor Quirrell trying to sneak into the Third Floor Corridor,” she said.

“How did you—” Harry began, but she continued, “I saw Filch dragging young Neville Longbottom around the school and demanded an explanation. When Neville mentioned that Professor Quirrell was going to steal the stone and you and your friends were going to stop him, we had to take action.”

Harry gasped as he saw Hermione and Ron, standing with several other teachers. Professor Dumbledore was among the teachers. He said, “Thank you for alerting me to the situation, young Harry. If it weren’t for you kids, we might not have known that Professor Quirrell was trying to steal the Stone from the school.”

“So what’s going to happen now?” Harry cried out.

“First, Professor Quirrell’s going to be spending a few long years in prison and we’re going to put the Sorcerer’s Stone in a place where it will never be found,” said Dumbledore.

“But what about Nicolas Flamel,” said Harry. “He might want it back!”

“Indeed,” said Dumbledore. “All the same, we must put it away so that it cannot be found and used for evil. I shall speak with him about this. And you kids should go back to bed and get some rest.”

“About the stone,” Harry wondered. “What about the stone granting eternal life?”

“The story about the stone granting immortal life is nothing more than a myth,” said the old wizard. “In the old days, seeking immortality was a crime punishable by death in the wizarding world.”

McGonagall said, “And had Quirrell gotten to it before we did, it would be nothing short of a disaster, one that not even Albus himself would be able to stop. Now, let’s finish this business, as we have more important things to take care of.”

***

Within a few hours, Harry found himself facing his friends in the Great Hall. The whole school looked at him with suspicion. Professor Quirrell was not there; Dumbledore had told everyone that Quirrell had been arrested for stealing the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Dumbledore then said, “I have some awards to give out. For using logic to solve the most complex of problems, I hereby present this medal to Hermione Granger!” A few scattered applauses filled the hall, coming mainly from the Gryffindor students, as nobody really liked Hermione, save for Harry and Ron. Hermione frowned as she went to get her medal.

Dumbledore then said, “For solving one of the world’s toughest riddles, I hereby present this medal to Ron Weasley!” The applause was more clustered coming mainly from the Gryffindor students, especially the Weasleys, but then again, nobody really liked Ron. He smiled as he went to get his medal.

The old headmaster said, “The next medal goes to he who showed love and bravery in the face of a dangerous enemy and prevented a disaster. I award this medal to Harry James Potter!” This time, everyone in the Great Hall cheered as Harry rushed forward to claim his medal. He had never gotten rewarded for anything in his life and that win was worth more to him than anything in the world. For now, that is.

But it was not over yet, for Dumbledore then said, “It’s not enough for us to stand up to those who are our enemies, but sometimes we must also stand up to our friends as well. I hereby recognize Neville Longbottom for his efforts.” The applause was now thunderous and everyone clapped Neville on his back. Neville was touched; no one liked him and so far no one cared to become his friend. But Harry Potter became his friend and that was all that mattered.

Draco slammed down his wizarding hat in disgust. So did the other Slytherins. Draco hated Harry since Day 1 and the fact that Harry was famous made his blood boil. So did being in Gryffindor and refusing to befriend him. Draco threw Harry a hateful look and left the Great Hall.

But Harry didn’t care; he was just living in the moment. Ron, Hermione, and even Neville beamed with excitement. Everyone cheered for their hero, not knowing that tomorrow would be heartbreaking for poor little Harry. He would have to go back to the Dursleys in the morning.

Harry stood at the train station the next day. He was talking to Hagrid. Hagrid said, “You don’t look too happy, Harry. I wonder why.”

“I don’t want to go back to the Dursleys,” said Harry. Hagrid stared at him. “They don’t treat me right, and I highly doubt if they would be willing to allow me to leave their house now, let alone attend Hogwarts or any other school.” Harry began to cry. “I just want to be a normal boy and be loved.”

Hagrid hugged him, frowning as he realized where Harry was going to end up. Back at the Dursleys. Back to the Muggles who mistreated him. He would not allow this. Why Dumbledore was sending him back there, he would never know.

He said, “Don’t worry, I’ll get in touch with Minerva and see if she wants to keep you at her mansion for the summer. Over her dead body will you return to the Dursleys.”

Harry sighed as he waved goodbye to Ron and Hermione as the train left the station. He knew that he was going to have a better summer than the summer that he had had before Hagrid arrived. Hedwig glanced at him and he nodded, knowing that for the first time in his life, things were certainly looking up for him now.

The End!!!

How Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows should have ended…

Dobby in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ...

Dobby in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Harry: I’m about to take down Dumbledore. Who’s willing to fight with me?

Jacquel: Well, before I answer that question, there’s something you need to know: Dumbledore was actually in league with Grindelwald.

Seamus: And both of them knocked me up. Twice.

Jacquel: Back to my original question: how dumb are you?

Ron: That’s not very nice!

Bellatrix: I knew Dumbledore was a stupid old bastard…(Neville chops her head off)

Neville: Yeah! That’s for my family, you bitch! (Nagini hisses at him) Don’t think I won’t go for you! (he kills Nagini)

Ron: Whoa, Neville! You’ve gone all badass!

Hermione: Exactly like that wolf-guy said.

Jacquel: And I’m supposed to marry the blonde haired guy.

Harry: Lucius Malfoy?

Jacquel: No way! I’m not marrying him, not with his long hair, elegant clothes, swinging that pimp cane around…no!

Voldemort: I have my wand out, Potter. I’m going to kill you now.

Sean: Not if I kill you first! (he pounces on Voldemort and kills him. then someone shows up)

Sirius: Hey, what’d I miss?

Seamus: Not much, just Sean killed Voldemort, Remus knocked up your cousin and bolted, and Jacquelyn got married.

Sirius: To who?

James (from Twilight): Unfortunately, she has married Caius from the Volturi.

All: WHAT?

Fred: You mean to tell me that after all this time, Magnus and I were about to fight for Jacquel and SHE runs off and marries someone else?

Magnus: Jacquel, what were you thinking?

Jacquel: Yeah, I should have said I was engaged to Caius since I was 9 years old.

Magnus: He’s a vampire! You can’t marry him! Think of your fans!

Jacquel: I have no fans; only idiots who think my grandpa was a monster and my grandmother smelled of poisoned goop!

Harry: Well, this sucks! Jacquel marries a vampire, Fred dies, George loses an ear, Hermione marries Ron, Draco marries some other girl, and Dumbledore is a douche. (noticing fans leaving) Hey, where do you think you’re going?

Fan #1: We’re leaving you, Harry. Your story sucks!

Fan #2: You shouldn’t have married that Ginny Weasley in the first place!

Fan #3: I still remembered what you did to that Cedric Diggory!

Harry: But why are you ditching me?

Magnus: Plain and simple, Harry. Nobody likes you anymore.

Harry: Why me?

The End!

How Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince Should Have Ended…

Albus Dumbledore

Albus Dumbledore (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(Dumbledore‘s death)

Dumbledore: Draco, put away your wand. You’re not a killer.

Bellatrix: Zap him, Drake. He’s a liar and a monster.

Draco: If you’re saying that, why aren’t YOU the one aiming your wand at him?

Bellatrix: Plain and simple; he killed my best friend! Joanna Rowes was my best friend and he killed her!

Julia: What? SHE was friends with my mother?

Jacquel: Inconceivable!

Draco: But what if it is true?

Jacquel: I’ll take my chances on that.

Snape: I shall now…shoot him down like a dog! (he makes to zap Dumbledore, but misses and zaps Harry instead) Crap!

Jacquel: I’ll do it…since he killed my mother and all…(she kicks him off the tower “300” style)

Harry: Jacquel, how could you?

Jacquel: He killed my mother! Why would you follow a man like him?

Draco: If he’d killed my mother, I would have done the same thing.

Harry: You really are an “Evil Faith“!

Draco: Only she can say that, Pothead! Not you!

Snape: And we all knew that Hagrid was the Half-Blood Prince all along!

Harry: What about you? Your mother’s maiden name was Prince.

Jacquel: And that’s what we all mean!

Snape: I always knew Hagrid’s family was messed up. His mother was a walrus and his father smelled of applesauce.

 

How Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire Should Have Ended…

The Dark Mark as produced in the film of Harry...

The Dark Mark as produced in the film of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(right after Cedric dies and Harry fights Lord Voldemort and escapes)

Dumbledore: Last night, we received word of a terrible tragedy and today, we are experiencing a terrible loss. One of our students has been murdered. (all gasp) And while the Minister doesn’t want you to know the truth behind how he died, I feel that for you to not know the truth would be an insult to his memory. Therefore you all have the right to know how he died. Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort. (students groan. some of the girls start crying) And that is an unfortunate event indeed in the history of Hogwarts.

Nelena: Yeah, whatever.

Dumbledore: Cedric was a brave and loyal student and we will miss him terribly.

Nelena: Yeah, whatever.

Dumbledore: But now he is gone, and yet he taught us one thing: while we all may come from different worlds and have different views about magic, we all have the same heart. And so, we dedicate this evening to a student who gave his life for the good of the wizarding world.

Nelena: Yeah, whatever.

Jacquel: Say that one more time and I’ll come over there and beat the crap out of you! (Edward shows up. everyone gasps) Edward? Why are you here?

Cho: Cedric? You’re alive?

Edward: I’m not Cedric. I’m Edward Cullen.

Jacquel: Hey! I remember you! You’re a vampire!

Cho: Cedric’s a vampire?

Hermione: No, Cho. It’s Edward Cullen from Twilight.

Edward: Where is Harry?

Cho: Why?

Edward: I have a bone to pick with him.

Ron: Why?

Harry: What did I do?

Edward: You left me to die!

Harry: How?

Edward: This…

(flashback)

Voldemort: Avada Kevadra! (Cedric falls down dead)

Harry: Nooooooo! Cedric! (Cedric dies. Carlisle sees him)

Carlisle: Oh, this is injustice! The cute boy doesn’t deserve to die! I shall fix that! (he bites Cedric and changes him)

Cedric: Who are you, and more importantly, who am I?

Carlisle: I’m Carlisle Cullen, vampire extraordinaire. I’m also a doctor.

Cedric: Really?

Carlisle: Of course I am. Now, no more Cedric; it’s a stupid name! You’ll be known as Edward Cullen, mindreading extraodinaire. You’ll wear the coolest shirts and become a vampire.

Cedric: What? No wizard powers?

Carlisle: No! Wizards are stupid and they are evil! Only a vampire can do cool stuff like your mindreadng. Now let’s go show everyone how awesome you are!

(flashback ends)

Edward: Now you know. (notices Jacquel) And what are YOU doing here?

Jacquel: Blame the Volturi; they’re a bunch of stupid punks to begin with and Caius wanted to be “more that just friends” with me…

Caius: Oh no you did-ent!

Harry: She just did!

Edward: You didn’t care about me; you left me to die! Now I’m gonna give you what for! (pounces on Harry and attacks him)

Harry: Help me, Jacquel!

Jacquel: No way, Harry! When this ends, you’ll be riding a horse nude on Broadway and girls will love Cedric and hate you for allowing him to die!

Malfoy: And you just wanted to get into Cho’s pants!

Jacquel: Nobody asked you, Evil Faith!

Voldemort: Well, I never should have killed that boy in the first place.

Carlisle: Oh, so it was YOU who killed him? I usually don’t condone violence, but you are a lost cause! (jumps on Voldemort and rips his head off)

Kids: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

Aro: Oh Carlisle! You’re so gorgeous when you’re covered in blood! (Jacquel slaps him across his face) Why did you hit me like that? You’re so mean! (starts crying)

Jacquel: Don’t even go there, Aro! (meanwhile, Harry is getting his butt kicked by Edward)

Harry: I’m sorry I let you die!

Bella: Too late, Potter! A real friend would fight to the death to keep him alive! You fail, and so do that retarded redhead jerk and that stupid bucktoothed nerd girl sitting next to you!

Neville: Do I fail?

Jacob: Nope. You go all badass in the finale. And Jacquel marries the blond haired vampire jerk.

Caius: Yes!

Jacquel: What?

Fred & Magnus: Noooooo!

How Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone Should Have Ended…

English: Alternate coat of arms of Hogwarts sc...

English: Alternate coat of arms of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry from Harry Potter book series, by J.K Rowling, with added shading effects. For a reference i used a drawing found on the internet, probably an illustration from one of the books. The motto translates to “never tickle a sleeping dragon” vector drawing,.SVG format. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(Everyone is in the 3rd Room Corridor)

Harry: We gotta get the sorcerer’s stone before Lord Voldemort does!

Jacquel: No you don’t.

Harry: Yes we do! We have to, or else Snape will steal it and give it to Lord Voldemort!

Jacquel: And I say, no you don’t! Can’t you see? They’re just using you to get the stone so that you die and Dumbledore gets the stone!

Neville: It’s true. I saw it in a movie once.

Hermione: Oh, you have got to be kidding me!

Ron: That’s not true! Why would Dumbledore do that?

Jacquel: Because he’s a mean and evil bastard who manipulated Harry into doing whatever he wants and stuff like that.

Harry: You mean, he made me live with people who hate me and stuff like that?

Jacquel: That’s exactly what I mean, Harry. So I suggest that we all go to bed right now or else we’ll get in big trouble. (All mumble, but they agreed with Jacquel and went to bed)

(Meanwhile…)

Snape: Aha! I caught you Quirrell! What do you have to say for yourself?

Quirrell: Well, you’ll still be a boring teacher and I’m going to date a Movie Character. How do you like THEM apples?

Snape: You have the stone?

Quirrell: Yup. (He holds it up)

Snape: (waving his wand) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Quirrell falls down dead) Who’s the boring teacher now? (He takes the stone) Now to dispose of this thing…(he tosses it into the fire and it melts)

(The next day)

Dumbledore: Unfortunately, Slytherin has won the house cup…(Slytherins mock as everyone else boos) And also, we will have to have a resorting ceremony, seeing as SOME people are unfit to be in Gryffindor…(Harry, Jacquel, Neville, Stacey, and Jaden are brought forward) I have tested them and they all belong in Slytherin.

Malfoy: Hah! About time Potty knew his place!

Jacquel: Shut the hell up, Evil Faith!

Only Several Sunlit Days – The Ultimate Anti Harry/Ginny Essay

English: An alternative, uncolored coat of arm...

English: An alternative, uncolored coat of arms of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry from Harry Potter book series, by J.K Rowling. For a reference i used a drawing found on the internet, probably an illustration from one of the books. vector drawing,.SVG format. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Only Several Sunlit Days – The Ultimate Anti Harry/Ginny Essay.

via Only Several Sunlit Days – The Ultimate Anti Harry/Ginny Essay.

Evidently, someone has written a very good essay about Harry Potter and his dumb relationship with the Mary-Sue Ginny Weasley. Using quotes from the books, she proves that not only is Ginny is a Mary-Sue, she’s a spoiled brat who cares nothing for anyone else, only getting her “crushHarry.

Ginny Weasley is the biggest travesty in the history of literature.