Tag Archives: Halfus Snibblepore

Harry Potter Spoof, Day 19

Posted on by Claire Violet Thorpe

And Now For The Unnecessary List of Characters That Were Unfortunate Enough To Be In This Story

In this story, we know enough about the characters in order to warrant their appearance in it. And as such, we have the audacity to inform you about who will be on the list as of right now.

And the characters are as follows:

  1. Harry Hames Moffer: the unfortunate hero of the story
  2. Loomius Tafrin: caretaker of Warthogpox High School
  3. Halfus Snibblepore: headmaster of Warthogpox High School
  4. Joe MacLean: former student of Warthogpox High School who agrees to take care of Harry while he attends Warthogpox
  5. -Dianna: Joe’s wife
  6. -Lars: Joe’s son
  7. -Sierra: Joe’s daughter
  8. Jill Roseberry: Warthogpox High School student and Harry’s friend/rival
  9. Athira MacFordlepad: math teacher
  10. Damuos GiXus-Bowes: english teacher
  11. Celevus Pate: science teacher
  12. Wom Dibble: history teacher (formerly known as Gourd Maldycart, a stage magician)
  13. Madame Forch: gym teacher
  14. Conoga Clout: home economics teacher
  15. Pun Teasley: Harry’s best friend (likes speaking in puns and riddles; youngest son in an unnecessarily large family)
  16. Hildegarde Lamer: Harry’s other best friend
  17. Neramill Flatbutton: cowardly boy; Jill’s best friend
  18. Domro Wilfy: Harry’s arch nemesis
  19. Tarcey Pate: son of Celevus Pate; Harry’s nemesis
  20. Junia Brown: Harry’s nemesis
  21. Oscar Hernandez: Hispanic exchange student
  22. Quintos Quinnell: civics teacher
  23. Mr. Silch: cruel janitor of Warthogpox High School

There are other characters that are mentioned in this story, but until they show up and do something that moves the story along, they won’t be on the list. And I did not include the Dourfeys for obvious reasons.

Now you know.

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Harry Potter Spoof, Day 17

Posted on by Claire Violet Thorpe
Not done yet, but it's much better than it sta...

Not done yet, but it’s much better than it started out a day ago. (Photo credit: qnr)

Now we have reached the end of the story, which is aptly titled “Well, This Story Sucks, But At Least It’s Better Than The Alternative“.

And here, we have Pun (who has now lost his mind due to the events of the story), Harry (who still needs answers to the question of why his parents died), and Hildegarde (who still won’t stand for any nonsense). They had been suspended for causing trouble in the school, even if the school deserved it.

Professor Dibble is last seen packing his things and leaving the school; he vows to get revenge on Harry for exposing his secret life.

And so, I end the story with this very important line: “Warthogpox High School was the worst school in the city of Wyvernwing, and Harry Hames Moffer was its most infamous student.”

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Harry Potter Parody, Day 16

Posted on by Claire Violet Thorpe

Well, I have tossed in a plot twist that you won’t believe.

Harry Moffer was supposed to be this big hero, but in reality, he’s just a sham. To make matters worse, he and his friends, Pun Teasley and Hildegarde Lamer, get themselves into all sorts of trouble, doing things that would surely embarrass the real Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Or even get them in some serious trouble

But that’s not the least of it.

In the twist, Wom Dibble, the history teacher, and a student named Jill Roseberry both blame Harry for the accident that ruined Dibble’s career as a stage magician and killed Jill’s grandfather, Paumer. Also, Snibblepore shows up and then crap happens.

Plus, Pun starts making up useless puns and cries when he “takes an arrow to the knee“.

So, will this parody end here? What crazy things are going to happen to Harry and his friends next?

Here’s my answer:

NONE of them are rewarded, despite the fact that they put an end to Silch’s plans to dominate the school. In fact, the trio is suspended for two weeks.

Jill, once again, shames Tarcey and Junia whenever they try to speak out against Harry.

But when the suspension is announced, the entire school protests; despite everything, Harry had tried to be the hero that the school needed.

Also, with his cover blown, Professor Dibble decides to quit teaching at Warthogpox High and move away.

Stay tuned for more!

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Harry Potter Spoof, Day 15

Posted on by Claire Violet Thorpe
Top hat as an icon for magic

Top hat as an icon for magic (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And here, we have the long-awaited meeting between Harry Moffer and Halfus Snibblepore…

Snibblepore claims to have knowledge of everything the kids have done in school, but in reality, he didn’t even know about the restricted section in the library, nor does he know that Silch had been mistreating the students. He refuses to fire Silch.

Harry forces the truth about his parents’ deaths out of Snibblepore, and he claims that there was a second baby who was with the Moffer family the night that Hames and Linny Moffer were killed, but no one knows if Harry had a brother or not. Harry swears to get his revenge.

That evening, the Grim Trio faces Jill, who is trying to break into the Third Building. She defeats them easily and claims that Harry is responsible for the death of her grandfather, Paumer.

Just then, Professor Wom Dibble is seen with a fake version of the Magician’s Crystal. Snibblepore had hidden the real crystal in a safe place. Dibble accuses Harry of ruining his life; he was once known as a stage magician named Gourd Maldycart until the accident that killed Harry’s parents destroyed his life and career.

Jill attacks the Grim Trio and humiliates them as Dibble continues to complain about his lost career. Jill puts her foot down when Dibble wishes to kill Harry and destroys the Third Building.

And that’s how this chapter ends.

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Harry Potter Spoof, Day 14

Posted on by Claire Violet Thorpe
Crystal Ball

Crystal Ball (Photo credit: Jeffrey Beall)

We find our heroes having to make amends with Jill and facing the school after their stint in the Sand Dunes. (but who am I kidding; there will be NO reconciliation here!) Also, someone else is attempting to go after the Magician’s Crystal, but I won’t say who. That’ll give away the story.

To start, Jill lays into the trio for not calling for help while they were trapped in the sand dunes, but that’s the least of their problems. There is still the matter of the Magician’s Crystal and Snibblepore’s warning regarding the Third Building: “And a word from the mayor of this town regarding his last tour of Warthogpox High a few months ago: he says that the third building is strictly out of bounds for anyone who doesn’t want to suffer an unfortunate death.”

That rule is about to be broken, no thanks to Harry, Pun, and Hildegarde.

Anyway, the Grim Trio, still not attending classes, cause even more trouble when they inadvertently break into a closet and find all kinds of magical objects that Silch had confiscated from many students. Pun believes that this was a conspiracy to hide the city’s magical origins and Harry believes that the magical material might provide answers to questions regarding the deaths of his parents.

Thus, we have a confrontation between Harry Moffer and Halfus Snibblepore.

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