This Devastating ‘Harry Potter’ Fan Theory Will Break Your Muggle Heart

Well, this is sad…

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voldemort_potter

Did you ever wonder while watching the Harry Potter films or reading the books why the classes in Hogwarts were so small? I mean, they were, weren’t they? What was described by the author as a school that housed 1,000 students, there sure didn’t seem to be 1,000 students. Sure, you could make arguments for hiring extras being expensive or that Hogwarts was really just super progressive and part of the selling points for discerning wizard parents was the smaller, more intimate class size, but the internet has decided that the numbers simply don’t add up.

What are those numbers, exactly? BuzzFeed describes a fan theory that crunches all of the numbers and uses the series’ history to come to a rather sad conclusion. Those numbers are that there are 1,000 students and seven years at Hogwarts. If you divide 1,000 by seven you get 143. Then divide those students…

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Happy New Year!

After an exciting new year of NOTHING HARRY POTTER RELATED, we now will kick off the new year by doing more things having to do with Tyler Potter, the Harry Moffer parody series, and even finding a way to do the short all-in-one story called “This Story Just Makes No Sense“.

So yes, it’ll be a new year, but will anything on this blog make any sense? I don’t think so!

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Harry Potter Spoof, Day 19

And Now For The Unnecessary List of Characters That Were Unfortunate Enough To Be In This Story

In this story, we know enough about the characters in order to warrant their appearance in it. And as such, we have the audacity to inform you about who will be on the list as of right now.

And the characters are as follows:

  1. Harry Hames Moffer: the unfortunate hero of the story
  2. Loomius Tafrin: caretaker of Warthogpox High School
  3. Halfus Snibblepore: headmaster of Warthogpox High School
  4. Joe MacLean: former student of Warthogpox High School who agrees to take care of Harry while he attends Warthogpox
  5. -Dianna: Joe’s wife
  6. -Lars: Joe’s son
  7. -Sierra: Joe’s daughter
  8. Jill Roseberry: Warthogpox High School student and Harry’s friend/rival
  9. Athira MacFordlepad: math teacher
  10. Damuos GiXus-Bowes: english teacher
  11. Celevus Pate: science teacher
  12. Wom Dibble: history teacher (formerly known as Gourd Maldycart, a stage magician)
  13. Madame Forch: gym teacher
  14. Conoga Clout: home economics teacher
  15. Pun Teasley: Harry’s best friend (likes speaking in puns and riddles; youngest son in an unnecessarily large family)
  16. Hildegarde Lamer: Harry’s other best friend
  17. Neramill Flatbutton: cowardly boy; Jill’s best friend
  18. Domro Wilfy: Harry’s arch nemesis
  19. Tarcey Pate: son of Celevus Pate; Harry’s nemesis
  20. Junia Brown: Harry’s nemesis
  21. Oscar Hernandez: Hispanic exchange student
  22. Quintos Quinnell: civics teacher
  23. Mr. Silch: cruel janitor of Warthogpox High School

There are other characters that are mentioned in this story, but until they show up and do something that moves the story along, they won’t be on the list. And I did not include the Dourfeys for obvious reasons.

Now you know.