This “Harry Potter” theory is the most lonely and sad one yet

https://www.yahoo.com/news/harry-potter-theory-most-lonely-213641436.html

I have always believed that Harry must have made the whole story up in his head. I mean, what other explanation is there? Harry Potter was a story of a boy who liked to pretend that he was a famous wizard living with cruel and abusive relatives who shoved him into a closet under the stairs.

That seems to make more sense than some of the other Harry Potter theories out there.

I wonder who else believes this theory. If you do, please comment below. Thank you for reading this blog post.

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How different would the Harry Potter series be, if it was written by George R.R. Martin instead of J.K. Rowling?

Jacquel Chrissy’s Answers – Quora

Well, here’s how I would see it:

1. Ginny Weasley and her twin brother Gerald would be banging each other, creating three bastard children while she was married to Harry Potter. James (who is the oldest) will be sitting on the Iron Throne after Harry dies in a Quidditch accident.

2. Harry would marry Ginny even though he still pines for a dead Hermione Granger. He also hires his best friend Neville Longbottom to be his hand and has illicit relationships with other girls and create numoerous bastard children.

3. Ron who is the most despised member of the Weasley family, is written as a Tyrion lookalike. Plus, he’d be a badass.

4. Neville is executed by James after he discovers the truth about Ginny and Gerald’s relationship. This rather unholy act angers Neville’s son Richard, who goes to war against the magical kingdom of Hogwartos. After several victories against the Weasley family, Arthur has Richard and his mother Hannah killed at the Lion Wedding.

5. Hermione, who was supposed to marry Harry, runs off with Draco Malfoy instead. Their son, Scorpius, is seen as the future hero even though he is raised as Neville’s bastard son. (in other words, D+H=S)

6. When Hermione ran off with Draco, Harry starts a war that gets the entire Malfoy family killed except for one.  Luna escapes across the sea to a foreign land called Azkabanos, where she becomes Khaleesi.

7. James is poisoned at the Snake wedding and Ron is blamed. He wants a trial by combat. His champion Cedric Diggory (who came to Hogs Landing to get revenge for his sister Cho’s death during Harry’s rebellion) fights against Viktor Krum and has his head crushed. (Ron also kills Arthur on the toilet and runs off to Azkabanos, where he meets Luna.)

8. Alice Longbottom would have to marry Ron, but escapes thanks to Severus Snape (who would be like Littlefinger). Lorcan would be crippled by Gerald and be trained in scrying by Hagrid. No word on Lysander.

9. Albus-Severus would be a weak king and Ginny would be arrested by the Order of Merlin for adultery, incest, and murder. Lily-Luna would be in Camelot, engaged to marry Chi Chang. (She also loses an ear)

10. All in all, there will be more violence, more sex, and more bad language than in Game of Thrones.

Does anyone else NOT like Harry Potter? | The Straight Dope

via Does anyone else NOT like Harry Potter? | The Straight Dope 

Just read the forum posts since I’m too lazy to review them. Basically, nobody likes Harry Potter and do we really need to give out a reason?

27 Things People Who Didn’t Like “Harry Potter” Are Tired Of Hearing

via 27 Things People Who Didn’t Like “Harry Potter” Are Tired Of Hearing

Hate Harry Potter? Tired of being mocked for hating him? Read this list and make your critics weep:

  1. When you say you don’t like Harry Potter, people automatically assume you have no imagination. (Guess what: I hate Harry Potter. DEAL WITH IT, YOU TWAT!!)
  2. Or, better yet, they think you’re illiterate. “Have you even read the book???” (No, I haven’t read the book , and I don’t plan to. Get off my back about it!)
  3. There is always talk of a new book or new movie or new Harry Potter SOMETHING, so if you aren’t excited about it, you’re a social pariah. (I have better things to do than to obsess over a fictional character.)
  4. No, you don’t get it. Actually, you feel no connection to this world because unlike them, you can’t solve all your inconveniences with magic. (FYI, you can’t solve the world problems with magic! Duh!)
  5. And spell names? Yeah, what the f**k is “Expelliarmus”? (can I punch someone in the face, please?)
  6. Patronuses… WTF??? This is the stuff of nightmares. (I’ve already had enough nightmares from real life; I don’t want them in my books!)
  7. “Muggles” and “Mudbloods” and blah blah BLAH.(Are you fricking racist???)
  8. “This is such an epic story of good vs. evil.” Yeah, except the villains are flat: Voldemort is self-loathing, Petunia Dursley is mega jealz of her sister, and Draco is going through puberty, like all the time. (YAWN. I could crap out a better story than this.)
  9. Don’t fool yourself, Harry and Ginny do NOT make the cutest couple ever. (Oedipal complex??)
  10. Also, the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry does not seem fun, it sounds like a total bummer; everyone is always in danger of DYING. (can’t I at least get through one year without BEING IN FRICKING DANGER ALL THE TIME???)
  11. Being assigned to Slytherin for any HP-themed game is a passive-aggressive way of people telling you you f**king suck. (Well, **** you! I won’t do what you tell me!)
  12. To everyone who wishes Gryffindor existed: Isn’t categorizing everyone into four different groups just a terrible idea? (sorting is just as bad as labeling)
  13. He Who Must Not Be Named” would never happen. There’d always be some kids in an alleyway saying his name all the time just because they could. (Are you fricking kidding me???)
  14. Then there was that day your friends dragged you to watch the first part of the seventh movie because you “had to see it!” (Dude, if you drag me to this piece of **** movie, I will unfriend you!)
  15. To your surprise, or lack there of, it actually isn’t “the best movie of all time”; all the movies start to blend together and feel exactly the SAME. (Harry repeats itself ALL THE FRICKING TIME!!! Why would you want to subject yourself to that?)
  16. The “epic” final wand battle of the seventh movie feels depressingly anticlimactic. (wake me up when Harry dies)
  17. You couldn’t care less that there’s an International Quidditch Association. (Screw quidditch. Football is better.)
  18. All the news stories of the legal injunctions and blackmail attempts caused from fear of the latest book leaking is a bit too much. (and people think that fan fiction should be legal)
  19. You’ve heard your friends geek out about it one too many times. (guess what? you need to dump your friends)
  20. The tattoos, just, NO. (I’d rather do Game of Thrones)
  21. The fan fiction terrifies you. (better yet, avoid fan fiction like it’s the plague)
  22. Everyone went through a period where they tried to sound British, and it still drives you NUTS. (You’ve just offended everyone who is actually British. Go stand in a corner and rethink your life.)
  23. Also, everyone and their mother takes this photo next to the 9 ¾ cart when they’re in London. (You have officially lost me as a child. Have fun playing with your imaginary kid.)
  24. Sardine flavored jelly beans are enough to turn your apathy toward HP into complete detestation. (#1, gross, and #2, how dare you steal from Jelly Belly! I’m shocked that a lawsuit hasn’t been filed yet to stop this travesty)
  25. The abundance of HP products everywhere makes you feel like there is no escape. (Can’t we make this just go away? Like forever?)
  26. Not to mention this THEME PARK, which is really just a hub for obsessive fans. (DO. NOT. GO TO THAT. PLACE. OR. ELSE. YOU’LL. NEVER. BE ALLOWED. TO. LEAVE.)
  27. Honestly, J.K. Rowling’s success story is the most interesting part of this whole thing to you. (her dreams came true at the cost of everyone else’s sanity.)

Now you know. As for me, I’m MUGGLE AND PROUD OF IT!!

25 Things within the World of Harry Potter that just DON’T MAKE SENSE!

English: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, ...

English: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, at Islands Of Adventures, Orlando, FL (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

via 25 Things within the World of Harry Potter that just DON’T MAKE SENSE!

First things first: why do we even have Harry Potter? It’s freaking everywhere and it’s so freaking annoying! (no wonder why I left the fandom in the first place!)

Anyway, here’s what I have to say about the list of things that don’t make any sense:

  1. Brooms are pretty dumb. Why would anyone want to ride them? (I try to avoid that in my stories, as brooms can hurt your butt)
  2. A sword, gun, or an arrow can do more damage than “avada kedavra“. Just saying.
  3. Is it so wrong to be popular at school? No wonder why Harry, Ron, and Hermione never grew out of their roles.
  4. I’m sure there were plenty of other people who took a bullet for someone they loved.
  5. Quidditch sucks.
  6. Magic? More like who cares if Harry’s eyes are messed up? Make him wear glasses.
  7. That one that Christians seem to have a problem with, and for all the RIGHT reasons too.
  8. Do parents even care if their kids are in danger while at Hogwarts?
  9. Spring kicks your butt.
  10. Dumbledore is just a flat-out useless jerk.
  11. Voldemort is the worst villain of all time.
  12. No one saw this coming WHY???
  13. Evidently, Rowling failed to do her research on prison escapes.
  14. Nobody really likes Harry at all.
  15. Do wizards NOT believe in eating meat?
  16. No census for the population of the wizarding world?
  17. David Tennant appeared to be the only talented Death Eater out there.
  18. Why were the Weasleys invented?
  19. Where’s Child Protective Services when you need them?
  20. So, everyone is washed up before reaching 18 years old? What a travesty!
  21. House of Cards took their cues from Harry Potter.
  22. Owls are wild animals, not a delivery service.
  23. Hidden racism???
  24. What did they do on Friday nights?
  25. Sword fights are better.

So now you know. And if you find this list even remotely offensive, then do this: stand up, back away from the computer, turn around and literally GET A FRICKING LIFE!!!

Read J.K. Rowling’s new post for the latest Harry Potter ‘gossip’ (from Today.com)

via Read J.K. Rowling’s new post for the latest Harry Potter ‘gossip’

Well, once again, we have another Harry Potter story from J. K. Rowling. And as interesting as this may appear to be, it just feels like fan fiction. I mean, there’s way too much Harry Potter fan fiction out there, so why do we need some from the author. If she’s *THAT* desperate to continue the Harry Potter series, she should just publish some short stories on Amazon.com.

It’s as simple as that.

Not Another Harry Potter Story!!!

Ok, so once again, we have to deal with J. K. Rowling being unable to let go of her cash cow, I mean, Harry Potter. Good golly god, Rowling! Haven’t you had enough of Harry Potter? Because we sure have.

Besides, do we really care to hear about Harry Potter? No! We want to know more about Dumbledore, Snape, and the wizarding world in general. Plus, as the song states, we’re getting tired of Pooter.

(and yes, I meant to write Pooter instead of Potter. Thank you for pointing that out.)

Just mosey on along.

Why ‘Harry Potter’ Is Based on a Terrible Decision

Greystone shot on Crack.Com

Greystone shot on Crack.Com (Photo credit: Forsaken Fotos)

via Why ‘Harry Potter’ Is Based on a Terrible Decision

As much as we love the mythology of Harry Potter, it doesn’t take more than five seconds of thought to realize that no 11-year-old kid would leave his family to live with a giant man-stranger presenting warm cake and promises of magic times ahead. Not even an abused orphan would take that pedo-bait.

This starts off the article, courtesy of humor site Cracked.com. Mainly, the article is about Harry Potter giving magic the middle finger and moving to America in a series of short movies.

But let’s go back to the main part of the article: why would an 11-year-old boy accept an invitation to some magical school?

Let’s go back and remember that children can easily go missing at any time and not be missed until it’s too late. The concept doubles if the child is a victim of abuse, such as Harry here.

Let’s say that Harry goes off with the strange man and within a few weeks of him disappearing with the stranger, his body is found lying in a ditch somewhere. (I know it’s sad, but I know it’s also realistic. Just go with it.) What do you think the Dursleys are going to tell the police when they are questioned about Harry’s disappearance? “Uh, he went off with some giant-man who talked about a magical school?”

Yeah, like that’s going to work with the cops.

Then push comes to shove and before you know what’s happening, they are arrested for child abuse and Dudley is sent to a foster home.

There you have it, folks. Harry potter was a victim of kidnapping and now he’s dead. There is no Hogwarts, he was not a famous wizards with gazillions of fans. He was famous simply for being a murder victim.

Yeah, what a sad ending to a big story.

Now, tell this one to your kids.

Kids, no matter if you want to learn about magic, NEVER go off with a stranger (not even if you’re an abuse victim). You will end up dead or suffer a worse fate.

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A Victim’s Guide to HPWS :: HPWS information, interaction, rehabilitation

via A Victim’s Guide to HPWS :: HPWS information, interaction, rehabilitation.

What is HPWS?

It’s short for “Harry Potter Withdrawal Syndrome“. This psychological problem is the result of what happens when a person withdraws from the world of Harry Potter. According to the website, HPWS is caused by an addiction to the immensely-popular Harry Potter series, and the books (which was written by J.K. Rowling) are read and beloved by billions of fans around the world.

So, what causes HPWS?

A prolonged exposure to anything relating to Harry Potter.

What are the symptoms of HPWS?

  • Interest in Harry Potter (by rereading the books, watching the movies, writing fanfictions, drawing fan art)
  • Thinking that Harry Potter is above all other books and hating (or shutting out) any other book that poses a “threat” to Harry Potter (such as Eragon, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, the Hunger Games, or the Percy Jackson series)
  • Spending countless hours on Harry Potter-related forums
  • Attempting to “convert” people to read the Potter series.
  • Getting angry with and/or bullying people who dislike Harry Potter
  • Spending countless hours “trapped” in the world of Harry Potter (includes daydreaming)
  • Even worse, trying to inject yourself into the world of Harry Potter (yeah, that was me!)

Treatment options

According to the website, here are the following treatments:

  • Ten-day treatment plan, which includes withdrawing from Harry Potter over a period of 10 days
  • Thirty-day treatment plan, which includes withdrawing from Harry Potter over a period of 30 days
  • Purging: after following the 10 or 30 day treatment plan, a purging includes withdrawing from ALL Harry Potter-related websites, putting the books and DVDS away (or giving them away), getting rid of anything such as posters or other things.

However, there are those who are deemed “Incurably Corrupt”, which means that they can never be “cured” of their Harry Potter obsession. (At this point, you might as well say a prayer for them and hope for the best.)

Despite the treatments, HPWS can come back, so be on your guard at ALL times!

Well, HPWS isn’t a real disease, but it sure is spreading like one!

And the debate goes on

JK Rowling Autograph

JK Rowling Autograph (Photo credit: baslow)

Yesterday, the Internet nearly imploded upon J.K. Rowling admitting that Harry/Hermione should have been a couple and not Ron/Hermione. (My opinion: I support NEITHER couples!)

Well, here are some more articles that discuss this rather useless revelation:

Anyway, here are some fake comments that are filled with anger towards the thing that she had just said:

It makes me sick. Who will be the one to decide between the anticipated maelstrom of criticisms? J. K. Rowling sums up a lot that’s wrong in society, the kind of person who thinks she is a success because she has lots of money and Twitter followers. She also gives the impression she would literally do or say anything to get more followers. ~ Ealnor

This is all the most mealy-mouthed and stupid joke. I speak from some experience!!!!!! Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. ~ Hailer

It’s simple. Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. J. K. Rowling is a childish fraud. We have enough of those already. Please take her back. ~ Caycee

One step too far. I’m not holding my breath. Calling J. K. Rowling: You are required to partake in a reality check as soon as you are able. ~ Janara

Plenty of heat on this one, but it’s time for some light. Most nuts are in denial. What makes me more sad than the fact that the posts were made is that J. K. Rowling lacks the rationality to admit that she was erroneous and that an apology should be forthcoming. ~ Drijad

The difficulty we have is that you can’t have your cake and eat it. Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. A clear sign that the old saw, ‘the end is nigh‘, is idiocy. ~ SuperSaiyanStar

No!!.. Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. This is the last time I’ll read a thread on the issue until the next time. ~ Fonura

Plenty of heat on this one, but it’s time for some light…is it 1st of April? Eff off, J. K. Rowling. And all who sail with her. ~ FallenLordDoom

I don’t want to make this personal, but this is a piece so totally flawed that it should be deleted. J. K. Rowling wants to blow off steam…Fine…But it’s not newsworthy. They can stick this in their pipe and smoke it as far as I’m concerned!!! ~ LemurWriter

Sounds like the guest bloggers on this blog are very unhappy about this issue, and I don’t blame them at all. It seems like Rowling just cannot let go of her story or the fame that comes along with the story. I say it’s time for her to slowly and gracefully fade away and let the next big writer take her place, one who will be sensible and not tell readers what they should or should not think about their story.

That is all.

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