Ari Pokker & the Evils of Magic

The following story is based off the comic Hairy Polarity and the Self-Mocking Fundie Satire by Tim Todd

This short story was written by Jeana Sollman in the story “Harry Potter Destroyed My Town” and there was a huge uproar over the fact that the Harry Potter books were treated as a guidebook for witchcraft and it offended scores of Harry Potter fans living in Nander Castle, Nevada.

Here’s what the story is about:

10-year-old Ari Pokker is a huge fan of science fiction and fantasy books, namely the Hanny Polanny books. The books were written by a man named M. G. Sullins. His friends Mimsie Langer and Joy Umber are also huge fans of Hanny Polanny.

One day, Ari’s parents, John and Lucy, tell Ari that he needs to stop hanging out with Mimsie and to find some Christian friends. They also do not approve of the Hanny Polanny books, as they and several other Christians had read the books and found out that the books were promoting witchcraft instead of enjoyment of reading. Ari protests against this and sneaks off to the bookstore, where he meets with Mimsie and Joy. Joy reveals that she and her mother, Inger, had gotten into a fight when she suggests that Joy should stop reading the Hanny Polanny books and start reading Christian-themed books instead.

Mimsie, not to be outdone by her friends, sneaks into the bookstore and the kids discover that M. G. Sullins is about to turn Hanny Polanny into a movie. Joy confronts him about how he was able to write the Hanny Polanny books. He first tries to lie to the kids, but the truth comes out—he was influenced by demons! The demons, angered by the resurgence of Christian-themed fantasy books, forced M. G., then a struggling screenwriter, to write a story about a boy named Hanny Polanny who attends a magical school. The demons then added their brand of evil to the books, which resulted in the books’ popularity, but stirs up controversy from Christians and non-Christians alike.

Joy becomes alarmed and tries to get the others to leave, but then demons come out and attempt to capture the kids. In an effort to save himself and his friends, Ari sets fire to the Hanny Polanny display, which kills the demons and destroys the Hanny Polanny books. The kids escape, but Mimsie is badly hurt and M. G. is killed.

With the death of M. G. Sullins and the destruction of the Hanny Polanny books, Ari has come to realize that the books were indeed evil and he never should have read them in the first place. He apologizes to his parents for disobeying them. Joy reveals that she persuaded a young author named J. P. Wordling to rewrite the Hanny Polanny books, but to leave out the witchcraft and instead expand the story about Hanny Polanny’s magical adventures.

Also, Mimsie recovers and she too understands that the Hanny Polanny books were evil and she was wrong to read them and also, she never should have snuck Ari and Joy into the bookstore. She decides to become a Christian, as does Joy.

And as the world enjoys a new and improved version of the Hanny Polanny books written by J. P. Wordling, the demons are not happy with being defeated by Ari, Mimsie, and Joy, and they seek to gain revenge on the kids for their defeat…

Hairy Polarity blog post: https://theblogthatmadenosense.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/hairy-polarity-and-the-sinister-sorcery-satire/

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