Harry Potter Ruined My Life

Whoa, that’s pretty harsh what you went through. I’m just glad that that never happened to me.

Also, I wasn’t a Potterhead in high school, and neither of my friends read the books. (To be honest, nobody in my high school was too big on Harry Potter to begin with.)

Anyway, good essay.

Orange Juice and Toothpaste

When I was eight, I was really good friends with the school librarian. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I was that kid. I had just started wearing glasses; I had also recently quit soccer and, as a result, I was growing a nice little pot belly; and, though this was the age everyone was supposed to like everyone, I was annoying as fuck. Sure, I had my friends, but I was a bossy bitch. (Haha“was.”) So the librarian and I? Best friends.

It had its benefits, though. Sometimes I would ask to go to the bathroom and just visit her instead, and I wouldn’t get into trouble. Because, I mean, hey, who’s gonna punish a kid for wanting to sneak away to the library? I also got first pick of all the new arrivals. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets had just been published, and…

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