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-1- Call Professor Dumbledor “Professor Dum Dum”
-2- Suggest that in a duel. Samantha Stevens from “Bewitched” would kick Harry’s ass.
-3- Confuse the Lord of the Rings Trilogy details with those of the Harry Potter series of books repeatedly by saying things like: “Remember when Gandalf and Voldemort were fighting and the Orcs took over the Hogwartz School of Wizardry in the Town of Rivendale?”
-5- Suggest to your friends that Harry should consider a line of Prada eyewear instead of those horrid horrid round glasses.
-6- Tell your friends that if Weezie Jefferson married Ron Weasly her name would have been “Weezie Weasly“.
-7- Inform your friends that “muggles” are what Fraggles drink beer from.
-8- Whenever speaking about Harry, refer to him as “Mr. Pot-Tare” the way Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington did in the TV Series “Welcome Back Kotter”
-9- Suggest that Andi McDowell would have made a better Voldemort than Ray Fiennes.
-10- Refer to the author, J K Rowling as “J J Walker” and tell people you think she is “Dyno-Mite!”
-11- Repeat every 15 minutes to your friends that “Hermione rhymes with ‘hiney‘.”
-12- Insist to your friends that you saw the actor who plays Professor Dumbldore on a TV infomercial for Viagra, talking about his “limp wand” problem.
-13- Tell your friends that Quiddich is not a real sport, like golf, NASCAR, horse racing, bowling and poker.
-14- Wonder out loud to your friends where Harry takes his invisibility cloak to be dry cleaned.
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