How Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix Should Have Ended…

Some Ministry officials in Harry Potter and th...

Some Ministry officials in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, from left to right: John Dawlish, auror; Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister; Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic; and Kingsley Shacklebolt, auror. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(Everyone is in the Department of Mysteries)

Harry: OK, here’s what we do: Ron, you throw chess pieces at Lucius and call him all sorts of nasty names; Hermione, you throw a book at Bellatrix Lestrange…

Neville: Uh, Harry, I believe that’s my job…

Harry: Uh, right, Neville. And as for you, Jacquel…well, you’re next to useless unless you get yourself captured by Fenrir Greyback and then I can go rescue you.

Jacquel: Harry, you idiot! Are you taking my character and completely remaking it to create “pointless drama” that is completely unnecessary?

Hermione: Well, the viewers want to see you as the beautiful girl everyone loves and not be hated for no reason.

Jacquel: What? OK, that’s it! I will NOT be bowing down to no Mary-Sueism! I quit this joint! We are all broken up! (she storms off. Death Eaters show up and kill everyone. Hermione is heard screaming her head off)

Sirius: Well, this ain’t nothing like the ride at the Harry Potter park!

Lupin: You said it!

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