How Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban Should Have Ended…

Azkaban (heavily damaged) as seen in Harry Pot...

Azkaban (heavily damaged) as seen in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(Everyone is in the Shrieking Shack)

Sirius: We should kill him! (Wormtail freaks out)

Lupin: Yes, lets. (they raise their wands)

Harry: Uh, no. Maybe we should turn him in.

Jacquel: Not right now.

All: Why not?

Jacquel: It’s a full moon tonight. We should wait until morning.

Ron: SERIOUSLY, Jacquel. You just keep getting weirder and weirder!

Hermione: She knows what she’s doing, Ron.

Harry: Well, morning sounds great.

(The next morning…)

Snape: Aha! I caught you two! It’s Azkaban for you!

Lupin: Now Severus, you can’t just haul us off to Azkaban without sufficient evidence.

Snape: And I say you should be grateful, for if Miss Romanov didn’t notice the telltale signs that you were a werewolf, things would have been worse.

Sirius: Shut the hell up!

Snape: Very well then. (he gathers the kids and they all return to Hogwarts)

(confronting Fudge)

Fudge: You mean to tell me that Sirius Black was set up by Peter Pettigrew, who betrayed the Potters to Lord Voldemort and killed 13 people with a single curse?

Harry: That’s true.

Fudge: I see.

Jacquel: So will you admit you made a terrible mistake?

Fudge: Well, I’ll be humiliated and people will say bad things about me, but yes, I will.

Dumbledore: Very well then. I suppose we have much to do then.

(A few evenings later…)

Dumbledore: Unfortunately, Slytherin has won the house cup, again…(Slytherins mock as everyone else boos) But then again, Harry Potter and Jacquel Romanov are being commended for bringing a man to justice and for telling us that our justice system is broken.

Lupin: And I’m leaving Hogwarts at the end of this term and taking Jacquelyn with me. She’s my daughter.

All: WHAT?

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