Harry Potter Spoof, Day 7

An Essay concerning Humane Understanding in fo...

An Essay concerning Humane Understanding in four books (1690) by John Locke (1632-1704) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

To sum up this part in a single essay, here’s the essay that Harry, Pun, and Hildegarde wrote in regards to the Larry Dobber books:

I am reviewing the Larry Dobber series by J. P. Wordling for the sole purpose of reviewing the books. The reason is that I have purchased the books for reading and I found them to be rather lacking in substance if not flavor.

“The first book, Larry Dobber & the Soothsayer’s Bone (which was published in GeratBirtian as Larry Dobber & the Pholospher’s Chrone), didn’t impress me very much. The hero is a loser, the villain is lame, and who cares about the soothsayer’s bone, anyway? Gross!

“The second book, Larry Dobber & the Cahbmer of Sercets, the hero is even lamer than before. Even worse is the fact that he is being chased around by Whinny Pleasy, who is the younger sister of his friend Jon Pleasy. Who in their right mind wants to read something like that?

“The third book, Larry Dobber & the Poisoner of Altazan, introduces the character Goofius Balck, an essentially useless character that contributes nothing to Larry’s story.

“The fourth book, Larry Dobber & the Cup of Burnt Oil, is just filed with boring fake teen drama.

“The fifth book, Larry Dobber & the Legoin of the Penguinz, was completely pointless.

“The sixth book, Larry Dobber & the Quarter-Vail Plince, was written why???

“The seventh book, Larry Dobber & the Deadly Hammers, was the worst series finale that I’ve ever read in my life.

“All in all, this is the worst book series that I have ever read; even the Blightnight Snaga is better than this pile of crap, and I don’t even like to read.

“The Larry Dobber series is so bad, and yet, stupid adults buy the books for their whiny snot-nosed brats who don’t even know the word “no”. What’s next? A Larry Dobber movie? Larry Dobber merchandise? Come on, people! We must rise up and put an end to the Larry Dobber phenomenon immediately before it takes over our lives!”

There is also talk of Larry Dobber becoming a movie, but it won’t be explored in full until the second book.

But the reaction to the essay was less than stellar, as scores of kids ganged up on the Grim Trio and insulted them. The shocking part of the deal was that the kids who liked the Larry Dobber books forced their parents to spend their hard-earned money on those books. (which was what had happened in the real world with Harry Potter). Jill shames the kids into throwing away their Larry Dobber books and grow up. She also slams the Grim Trio for ruining the lives of hundreds of thousands of children everywhere with their anti-Larry Dobber essay.

Plus, Tarcey and Junia are about to make the Grim Trio pay for speaking out against Larry Dobber.


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