If you have a friend who likes Harry Potter so much that it annoys you to no end, here’s a way to get those fans off your back for good:
- Make a bonfire, throw their books in, and say “It’s Magic!”
- Tell them the Weasley’s are gingers.
- Say that Harry belongs with Hermoine, rather than her screwing Ron.
- Constantly tell them that Edward Cullen is hotter than Harry.
- Argue that Stephanie Meyer could beat J.K. Rowling in a drag race.
- Tell them that James from Twilight could eat Voldemort. Literally.
- Repetitively ask if Harry likes playing with magic sticks, if you know what I mean.
- Remind them Daniel Radcliffe was in a play where he was naked and fantasized about horses.
- Run around riding a tree branch, shouting “I’M HARRY POTTER!”
- Talk with a horrible British accent and claim you go to Hogwarts.
- Remind them Dumbledore is gay.
- Exclaim “Well, Harry doesn’t sparkle in the sunlight!”
- Tell them Bella is much prettier than Ginny.
- Insist that Snape uses Loreal to condition his hair.
- When seeing a poster or picture with Harry on it, scream “THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!”
- Pronounce the actor’s names wrong.
- Ask who Harry Potter is.
- Tell them Dumbledore hides a rabbit under his hat.
- Pronounce the character’s names wrong.
- Suggest that Harry should look into a pair of D&G glasses rather than his silly round ones.
- Ask if Voldemort got plastic surgery on his nose.
- Say Harry should try out Mederma.
- Ask “If Harry’s scar hurts so bad, then why doesn’t he just take Tylenol?!”
- Tell them “Why so Sirius — Black?”
- Ask them if they do know what Harry means and claim J.K. Rowling is perverted.
WARNING: I’m not responsible for anyone getting beaten up by pissed off Harry Potter fans because they did this list.
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