Harry Potter: The Most Clichéd Book of the New Millennium

Dear everyone,

While doing my research for a book I’m writing called The Piano’s Painting, I ran into a list of stereotypes in fantasy and I thought I should write an essay about how Harry Potter had to be the most cliched book in the new millennium.

Like, here are the things that I have seen in the Harry Potter story:

  1. The main character as an orphan 
  2. The main character is mistreated by relatives, stepparents, and/or society in general 
  3. The main character being destined to become the hero due to some birthmark or prophecy 
  4. An older person trains the main character to fight a villain, and/or uses the main character as a shield/pawn against villain and plans to dispose of them once the battle is over 
  5. A fortuneteller tells the main character about a quest they must go on 
  6. Main character’s best friend is of a different race or species, and discrimination ensues 
  7. Villain is usually someone who isn’t worth beating, or becomes the villain after being mistreated by other people 
  8. Main character is learning a new spell, which ONLY works when defeating the villain 
  9. Villain attacks with uber-cool powers, but defeated by hero who only uses a mundane spell 
  10. The girl is only seen as a beautiful princess/damsel in distress, tomboy, selfish snob, or (you guessed it) girl-empowered heroine!!! 
  11. Evil wizards 
  12. White, blonde, blue-eyed people are good; non-white, brunette/dark-haired, brown eyed people are seen as bad 
  13. Evil Villains are dressed too much or too skimpy (or they dress in dark colors), hide out in their castles, and want money, wealth, power (and to destroy the world) 
  14. Member of main character’s group is rejected or ignored despite their genius 
  15. The hero is seen as arrogant/cocky, learns things but does nothing until the last possible second, boasts that no one is better than him, and has an incredible amount of fangirls 
  16. The comic reliefs 
  17. Wizards dress in robes with stars and moons attached 
  18. Names of characters 
  19. Orphans who become heroes 
  20. Cruel stepmothers/stepfathers/other relatives 
  21. Dark characters with tragic pasts 
  22. Beautiful hero/heroine that everyone loves (or ugly character who everyone hates) 
  23. Deformed villain sitting in a chair 
  24. Enemy is often a troubled person behind a curtain 
  25. Even if the odds are stacked against him, the hero succeeds anyway 
  26. Main character ALWAYS arrives at the last minute to beat the bad guy and save the day 
  27. Magic vs. technology 
  28. Dark Lord whose name is not to be repeated 
  29. Fantasy is a real life historical event that is hidden 
  30. Northern Europe in fantasy stories 
  31. Magic and heredity 
  32. The Anti-Hero 
  33. Use of magic 
But even with all the movies and the merchandise and the millions of Harry Potter fans, you can’t help but think that the book repeats itself. Like, here’s how it repeats:
 
Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone:
  1. Harry is an orphan with a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his head and is prophecised to bring down a dark lord who’s name is unmentionable. 
  2. He grows up with cruel and abusive relatives. 
  3. He finds out he’s a wizard and attends Hogwarts
  4. He befriends Ron Weasley (who’s seen as a “blood-traitor”) and muggle-born Hermione Granger (who’s just a nerdy girl) and rejects Draco Malfoy‘s offer of friendship. 
  5. Harry has problems with Professor Snape
  6. Harry fights Lord Voldemort for possession of the sorcerer’s stone. 
  7. Harry wins, but he goes back to his abusive relatives. 
———————
 
Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets:
  1. Harry is at home with his abusive relatives. 
  2. Harry gets rescued by the Weasley family. 
  3. Harry goes to Hogwarts.
  4. Some trouble with Snape and another teacher. 
  5. Disaster strikes and Harry gets blamed for it. 
  6. Harry fights Voldemort and beats him.
  7. He returns to his abusive relatives. 
——————-
 
Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban:
  1. Harry is at home with his abusive relatives. 
  2. Harry escapes and meets up with the Weasleys. 
  3. Harry goes to Hogwarts. 
  4. Some trouble with Snape and another teacher. 
  5. He finds out that he has a lost relative. 
  6. Harry fights Dementors. 
  7. He returns to his abusive relatives. 
—————-
 
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire:
  1. Harry is at home with his abusive relatives. 
  2. Harry gets rescued by the Weasley family. 
  3. Harry goes to Hogwarts. 
  4. Some trouble with Snape and another teacher. 
  5. Voldemort returns and a student is killed. 
  6. Harry fights Voldemort and beats him. 
  7. He returns to his abusive relatives. 
——————
 
Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix:
  1. Harry is at home with his abusive relatives. 
  2. Harry gets rescued by the Weasley family and the Order of the Phoenix. 
  3. Harry goes to Hogwarts. 
  4. Some trouble with Snape and another teacher. 
  5. He learns of a prophecy regarding him. 
  6. Harry fights Voldemort and beats him. 
  7. He returns to his abusive relatives. 
————–
 
Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince:
  1. Harry is at home with his abusive relatives. 
  2. Harry gets rescued by the Weasley family. 
  3. Harry goes to Hogwarts. 
  4. Some trouble with Snape. 
  5. Disaster strikes and Dumbledore is killed. 
  6. Harry fights Voldemort and beats him. 
  7. He returns to his abusive relatives. 
————–
 
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows:
  1. Harry is at home with his abusive relatives. 
  2. Harry gets rescued by the Weasley family. 
  3. Harry goes to Hogwarts. 
  4. Some trouble with Snape. 
  5. Disaster strikes and various people are killed. 
  6. Harry fights Voldemort and beats him. 
  7. He returns to his abusive relatives. 
I’m very sure if it was any other author who has already written stuff like that, they’d be run out of the literary world. But since this was the work of a woman named J.K. Rowling, well, we’re not sure if she could get away with it. Apparently she has, but now the Harry Potter story has died out thanks to the likes of Twilight and other great vampire stories.
 
Maybe next-go-round, I’ll watch what I’m writing so that my books don’t end up being called “cliched” or “pathetic“.
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